A video blog on this is/was coming, but I’m having the hardest time uploading from the hospital.

Hmm…

Well here’s the idea–things change so incredibly fast. Have I blogged about this already? Well they do. On Tuesday I may tell you that I’m doing great, that my body is feeling good, and you might even see me up and doing dishes or something like that. AND THEN on Wednesday things can totally switch and I’m sick and miserable and deathly ill. The worst is when I tell you I’m doing terrible and then the next day things get better and you see me weeding the garden or something.

I often feel like a liar. And I promise you that I am. Just not about this.

The last week provides a great example. Following my first new chemo treatment on Thursday had you spent time at our house for our Sunday community meal you would have been part of the group teasing me because I was constantly falling asleep. Seriously, for about four days I could not possibly stay awake for longer than an hour at a time. In very awkward ways I would fall asleep in the middle of sentences, during conversations, or while eating. I was always tired and pretty much out of it for nearly a week. And then on Tuesday things got better. My brain worked again, I had a huge amount of energy, and I was up and around playing with my kids and helping my wife just like I’d prefer. It felt great and I felt great. This carried on into Wednesday as well. Wednesday was a great day…until  four o’clock. At four everything immediately switched. I took a short nap (’cause even when a guy feels like a million bucks that doesn’t mean he sleeps at night. You can’t have everything right?) and when I woke up I felt like I had a terrible flu. Fever, chills, body aches, headaches, numbness in extremities, etc. I felt absolutely terrible and within a few hours had to be admitted to the hospital.

Things change so quickly. One moment I’m fine and the next I’m in bad shape. And you just never know what to expect.

It’s disconcerting to say the least because it is a constant reminder of how quickly things may potentially turn as my body continues to digress from tumor growth. It’s very possible that in one weekend I could go from my current walking functionality to being permanently stuck in a wheelchair. We just don’t know.

Disconcerting.

And that’s just how things are, it’s just what we must get used to, and yet it is something that I’m not certain we ever will grow accustomed to.

So as you listen to me, as you watch our story both from near and far, and as you peer into our lives through the windows that we’ve readily opened up please be fully aware of the ch ch ch-changes that happen not only over night but often times almost instantaneously. Things are not always as they seem…at least not for long!

As a quick update to my health. They are keeping me in the hospital for a second night. I feel relatively good now but they don’t want to take any chances with regard to an infection (infections are kind of a big deal when you’re on chemo I guess) and in order to make sure they treat it right they need to wait for some specific tests that take 24 hours. So here I sit. But don’t fret ’cause I think i’m doing pretty good. Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers!!!

And as another quick update. Here is a link to the video blog that I referenced and was attempting to upload in the hospital. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq2BM0u1Otw&feature=plcp