I’ve written this post once. It’s gone now. Thanks Jones. I love you. I shall now try to recreate what was already written…crap.
I want to pretend, pretend professionally that is. Yes, I want to be a professional pretender. Seriously. It’s the best job I can think of. You get paid millions just to pretend to be someone else. What an awesome gig. I mean, if the Muppet Babies were real, they would be millionaires ’cause they sure could pretend well. Pretenders represent everything that we want. Leisure, popularity, looks. We don’t simply give them their credit for pretending to be someone else. No, instead we put them on our desktops, on our blogs, and we even hang them from our walls. We buy magazine after magazine to see what they wear, how they do their hair, and whose having the latest affair. We talk about them as we would speak of an aunt or second cousin. They’re family. No, they aren’t family, they are greater than family, they are actors, models, thespians (even lesbians). They’re pretenders. Professional pretenders. It’s odd isn’t it? It’s odd how we worship pretenders. It’s odd how people will give anything and everything to be one of them. Years ago it was idols made of Gold, wood, and bronze. The Egyptians worshiped Ra, the sun god. The Greeks poured libations before Zeus who rested high on his mountain. American’s look to Paula, Randy, and Simon to find their next idol. We work 60 hours a week so we can spend millions a year watching our beloved thespians on big shiny screens. They are god’s, every one of them. All hail the great and glorious Hollywood! Pour out your libations to those who pretend really ridiculously well! And now, a doxology, to those we honor and love as our Golden Calves of today:
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye Hollywood Host;
Praise Frodo, Sam, and Gandalf’s ghost. Amen.”
the doxology touched my heart. hit me right to the core. single tear…
Ryan, I think you're trying to make me feel bad for my Cute English Dudes Top 8 List. Fine! I guess I'm shallow. Just for that, I'm going to do another one this week, but with Non-English dudes.
"Praise Frodo, Sam, and Gandalf's ghost."Genius. You've probably ruined on of my favorite hymns. (Thanks a lot 😉
Best blog post I've ever read!
See, Gina, the only problem with your Top 8 theory is that your list excluded (or didn't include. either one) DMony, Ty, or 007. This is all a reference to me and my shameless worship of celebrities and Pinkisthenewblog. This post is all. about. me.
To be perfectly honest, both of you were in my heart and thoughts…though, my assumption is that you both do it more out of humor and fun rather than a true fascination and desire and/or obsession.And the reason that Arwen's thoughts are referenced more than Gina's or Lisa's or any of you other bloggers out there who write funny posts about celebs is that I have followed Arwens more than anyone else's, save for my own and my wife's.
I am petty sure I will never be able to sing the doxology the same again.Kinda like a kid I used to know sang "Up from the gravy arose."
I love it.
best. post. ever. (mostly the song part)
i made a bunch of magnets for some girls once in a bible study i was leading… it was a golden calf with the universal red circle and slash. it was supposed to remind us all to have no false idols. i took it off of my fridge when my guests kept saying, "what? no bull sh*t?"well, that too.
You are my beloved husband, in whom I am well pleased.
Maybe you should get an invite to the song writers seminar at ACU… They need minds like yours! The question is, can you write your own tune instead of stealing someone else's?
the answer is no.
Speaking of ruined hymns, Jason & Ryan, it reminds me of a moment decades ago when I invited a friend, Ron Quint, to speak to my youth group. He brought a college student — protoge, if you will — and over breakfast, Donny McLaughlin kept singing, "Here we are but strangling pigeons, here our path is often dim …" and in doing so, ruined a perfectly good God-song for me. *sigh*
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