After watching Jess write her political post and then hearing my sister Tara’s comment that she thought that I wrote it, I thought it best to write my own political post. I want to show Tara what a true Ryan political post looks like. So lets get to it. Political post. Political post. Political post.

Bombs. Bombs. Bombs. There are bombs everywhere. NK’s got ’em. We’ve got ’em. Does Canada have ’em? You turn to movies and the way you spell potential success in a movie is with, what I call, the four B’s. Bombs, boobies, bad words/attitudes, booze. What is our world coming to? Where are we to turn? Conservative America told me to turn to Dick and Bush. Conservative America told me that Kerry was full of nastiness and all sorts of evil. Are they right? Well, where is America today? Portland and the Democratic party wants me to think that America is going to hell in a bush-made basket. Where does Ryan think that America is? Somewhere between Canada and Mexico right? No, seriously folks, we’re more in debt now than ever before, both on a national level and on an individual one. We’re loved by such countries as England, Portugal, and lets throw in Switzerland for fun just so that we can be sure to have all the wienerist (sp??), most pacifist countries in the western world. Those who hate us seem to be growing. And the list of those who hate us seem to be attaining nuclear power. You see, it all comes back to bombs. Bombs. Bombs. If I were Bush I’d bomb all the bombers before they could bomb us. Thats the answer mon frier…but first we must create our Nalgene protection. Yes, thats right, a Nalgene (those water bottles that can’t break) water bottle that surrounds the US and will protect us from Nuclear warfare! That stuff is hard. Trust me, it cannot be penetrated.
Where have all the cowboys gone? What ever happened to flying to the moon? Where is Christopher Robin’s house?
We produce enough food to feed the world, and yet people starve. Our technology multiplies daily, and yet few have health care. The answer that everyone is turning to is a government that spoon feeds you everything. Health care for the poor! Food for all! Socialism we cry! Socialism! The way I see it, we would be better off with Buggs Bunny and the Roadrunner guiding our nation. Those two stand as pillars of sneakiness, of intellect, of peace, and a healthy lifestyle. Seriously, BB was always eating veggies, while the RR sprinted everywhere. Good for them. Who needs 24 hour fitness when you can just get a pair of good running shoes and a carrot?
Lets open the borders and let everyone in. And I’m not talking about the bookstore folks. Lets get some of those people movers that you see at the airport, you know the ones, they are like escalators that don’t go up. We should put those at the borders that take them straight to the social security office, which funny enough here in Vancouver sits right next to Goodwill. If we’re lucky the Canadians coming over will bring their moose with them, while the Mexicans will bring us some tacos pastor (sp??). I love pastoral tacos. I love a good moose (except for Bullwinkle, talk about a dunce). No seriously folks, concerning the borders all we need is that Nalgene bottle. I’d like to see a Cuban float through that! But if I were in control I’d put a cap at both ends of America to let a few special Canadians (namely Mike Myers and Paul Shaffer) and a few Mexicans (namely that one president who looks like Peter Jennings).
And so, in closing, I would like to say that I voted for Bush. Why? Honestly ’cause Kerry reminded me of Bullwinkle, and we all know what I think about him. Bush seemed nice enough and he used to own the Texas Rangers. And as everybody knows, Jose Canseco played for them, and for that I respect Mr. Bush. You know what they say, “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…you fool me, you can’t get fooled again.”

Colin and Canseco in 2008!