I’m constantly caught off guard by being caught off guard. It strikes me at the most surprising times and in the most mundane ways. I remember early on in my post surgery recovery being surprised when a character on a TV show or movie would get up and walk without a limp. My mind would automatically place on these fictional characters my own limitations (this was much earlier in my ‘learning to walk again’ phase). Not only was it shocking that they didn’t limp it was surprising to find myself making these unconscious awkward assumptions.

Even still today I often feel a similar twinge of shock. While I walk pretty normal (I do right?) and function quite highly (right?) I’m occasionally caught off guard by things that I can’t do. It’s not that I think that I CAN do them only to be disappointed when I can’t, it’s that I’m randomly faced with little things that I had forgotten I’d lost. Skipping for example. I didn’t skip much prior to surgery, it wasn’t really a big part of my life…but to know that I can’t even physically accomplish such a task is a strange thing. And it’s not that I sit around and think “Hey, I can’t skip”–it’s that I’ll see someone skipping and then instantly be faced with a thought that hadn’t crossed my mind before: “Hey, I can’t skip!”

Even further, I am shocked when I realize how quickly everything has moved. Doing our taxes brought a wave of emotion as I looked at my calendar from 2011. I was in school still. I was a part of a small group that had been gathering for many years. I was engaged in daily morning prayers with housemates. Those things feel like forever ago! I feel a twinge of…of…something. It’s just so shocking to see the changes that surprisingly occurred in a short amount of time. They were so unexpected, so unanticipated, and it feels like two completely different worlds, it feels like so long ago. But it wasn’t a long time ago.

Even more, while at the tax office we were reminded that it was exactly a year ago that Jess and I made the decision to NOT opt out of social security (clergy have the option to do so if they can justify it on certain specific grounds). We wanted to opt out because we felt as though we’d never use it ’cause it wouldn’t be around when we were old, but we felt like we could not justify opting out based on the stipulated conditions. So we stayed in. But who would have thought that only a few months later (ok, the money didn’t start coming in ’till December) we’d be partially living off of a social security disability check?! When we made that decision we absolutely did not think we’d ever need it nor be able to use it…and now look at us. So surprising. So unanticipated.

Some surprises are good: birthday parties, trips to Hawaii (leaving on Tuesday!), new friendships. Some surprises are rough: do I really need to list any more here? But surprises are a part of being human. Even further, surprises are a part of being a follower of God. My wife has always said that the two most surprising things in existence is the Spirit of God and humanity. Those two things never do what you expect, they’re always surprising you. So why would we think that when those two things blend together (church, life, neighborhood, relationships, etc.) we’ll have any ability to imagine what might be?! Why do we think that we can create bullet points for how God and humanity blend?

Our life is teaching us to expect surprises. Grassroots Conspiracy is an extension of this–it is our attempt to capture the localized story of the Spirit of God coming together amongst a specific people. God and humanity…so so surprising.