No news is good news right? Or should I say, no bad news is good news right? Or maybe I should just say that it could always be worse right? Oh, I don’t know. The point is that we got our most recent MRI test results back and there’s been absolutely no change in my spine regarding tumor growth (or any kind of growth for that matter).
In my mind this is something definitely worth celebrating considering we’ve had a string of scans come back with new friends attached (think new tumors). There were times in the past where good results (or even neutral ones like yesterday’s) were actually difficult to deal with because they felt incongruent with how my body itself felt. My body felt terrible and I was experiencing new symptoms and yet the scans did not support what my body was saying. The same reality could have been or could be true right now. As my previous blog post touched on I’ve been in the ER more in the last month and a half than I have during the entirety of my whole cancer career. Additionally I’ve been having headache “episodes” every day that aren’t strong enough to send me to the hospital but cause dizziness and all that annoying jazz. And yet the news of a stable MRI didn’t leave me feeling that sense of incongruence or confusion as it had in the past (which really is all about triggering that feeling of a loss of control).
Anyway!!! Anyway, there was/is a strong sense of relief to know that things are stable. There’s a strong sense of relief in having a new plan of attack to eliminate my headache problems (my oncologist has been putting in lots of time, energy, and creativity in trying to figure this out). There’s a strong sense of relief in knowing that hand controls for our vehicle might be a reality. There’s a strong sense of relief that October 12th* isn’t all too far away. There’s a strong sense of relief to know that at least for now I am stable…and stable isn’t such a bad place to be.
* October 11th (10/11/2012) is exactly six months from the date that they gave me 3-6 months to live!
You have covered issues and topics that most people wouldn't dare to touch. With most people I wouldn't share this next thought, but somehow you might find it intriguing. Your blogg has given me some insight into Paul's letters and into how they might have been received. You mentioned earlier the timeline that the doctors were giving you for how long from a medical perspective you have to live. That finite timeline gives a certain urgency to every blogg you write. When Paul wrote most of his letters he was on his way to Rome and the judgement there would determine if he lived or died. The letters he sent have that same urgency. Since Paul's very life was on the line for his faith, what would he choose to write about with whatever time he had left. I believe that since Paul was facing death that his words were given great weight and consideration by the churches who received his letters. May God bless you and heal you.
Stability is great news!
I like your posts. I like your sense of humor. I like that you write simply and truthfully and honestly about the things of life..that we sometimes want to just hide away. You are a great inspiration…and even though we have never met, I feel like I know you and your family through your writing. May our Lord continue to bless you and give you just the right amount of time here on earth. Love and prayers!
I'm really happy for you. Know that no news is indeed good news in this situation, because regression can only start after growth stops. You are on your way of getting better.
I am really happy to know that no news is indeed , good news is the best way to your own growth with your own way. Great news from end thanks for sharing the information to us.
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