I was praying this morning and telling God some of my frustrations. I’m frustrated about money stuff. At the end of October Jess and I have no more funding with Renovatus. Last month my parents “salary” check was $2000 short. Last month Renovatus barely had enough money to pay the bills. We might need to cancel what was to be our second annual neighborhood block party partially due to lack of funds. God why do we have all these crappy money problems? And then I was frustrated that our church isn’t growing as we thought it would. This summer is going to be a painful one with regard to numbers. Anyway, I had a whole list of things I was moaning to God about. And it’s this strange balance, because I know and believe that God will be faithful. He’s always come through in the past. But where I get worried is that I’m not convinced that God won’t let us go through a whole pile of crap in order to get to his destination. I just want things to be simple. I don’t want more faith. I just want to sit right where I’m at with no further opportunities to grow my faith in any way. God just bring some positive answers to prayers easily and quickly and without any faith whatsoever…that’s all I need…
…if only God worked like that!
To get to the point of my story, as I’m reading some scripture this morning I come across these words:
Don’t worry about anything: instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. his peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
– Philippians 4:6-7
Hmm…do I want peace that transcends what my mind can conceive? Yes. So to get such peace one must pray, share my needs with him, thank him for what he’s done, and chill? Yes. Interesting.
I’ve read that passage before, but today it really stuck out. God so you’re saying that you want me to just keep praying, sharing my needs with you, remembering how you’ve worked in the past, and then let it go? I guess I’ll give it a shot, but I won’t be happy about it(-:
*That was my first parenthesis-dash-colon smiley face I’ve ever done! You can pat me on the back later.
I remember when we moved to Memphis. At one point all we wanted to do was to give up and go home to Portland, but we couldn't because we didn't have enough money to turn around and go back. We were at a point where there was no other explanation – we had no money, no food, nothing – then God provided. We can't shrug it off or try to take credit ourselves. God tore us down too well before that time. Then he showed that he's God.