I don’t claim to know much about the Israeli/Palestinian crisis nor our awkward involvement in it. But for a show that follows a collection of adult cartoons on the Comedy Central network the Daily Show often seems capable of asking some pretty good questions. These two clips are worth watching for sure.
I’ll admit it, I like New Girl. Jess and I watch it on Hulu pretty much every week and generally I think it’s pretty good.
The last episode we watched centered around one of the characters discovering he had a growth on his thyroid. Could it be that he has cancer? All his friends started treating him differently, realizing that he might be dying. In the end he learns his lesson that he’s got to truly live life, he’s got to stop living in fear and start taking some bold steps out of his comfort zone (in this instance… swimming in the ocean). In the end it turns out that he does not have cancer, that it’s just a cyst and that everything is going to be alright. What a surprise?! Hurray!
I just don’t know how I feel about this episode (and I’m fairly certain there are about a dozen other shows that have told the same story). Well, for one, I found it a bit formulaic. There’s just something about it that felt all too simplistic. I get it, it’s a sitcom. Sitcoms should not ever have characters die of cancer unless its a marginal character and is somehow funny (if we can’t laugh at cancer what can we laugh at right?….right?). I sat there watching it, knowing exactly what would happen, knowing exactly what the character and his friends were going to learn, knowing for certain that it would turn out to be nothing.
Hmm…I wish I had a good point. I just felt a need to blog about it because it stirred strange feelings within me as I watched it. Maybe what it all comes down to is that I found the episode…boring. Is that it? Is that all it was? Was my true feeling underneath all this simply the idea that this episode took little to no effort to write? A child could have written this, a novice could have created a storyline where nothing actually happens but the fear of something causes the characters to learn their all too important lesson on life. Yes, maybe that’s it.
And the moral of the story is that I should have been a television writer.
Does our definition of family need to die? I’ve read two different books recently that both question how we’ve come to define family (Untamed and Unclean). I won’t claim to do either books justice because they’re both amazing and articulate, but I will ruminate publicly a bit with you about the implications of this idea.
In general brand new slimy babies dont’ know the difference between family and not-family. It’s learned. They learn who is safe and who is familiar. Those safe and familiar people are generally called family. Some parents include friends into that safe and familiar group but often times even those friends are given family-type names like “aunt” even if they aren’t. Essentially as our children grow we help them to create a box around those who are “in” (family) and those who are not (everyone else). I don’t think this is a wholly unhealthy distinction, but I think it’s vallid to observe. We are trained from babyhood through adulthood to make these distinctions–to create boundaries.
In America we’ve come to a place where both the church and in a superficial way politics are all about protecting the family. “Family values” has become a term all unto itself, something that supposedly needs to be rediscovered and protected. The breakdown of the family is viewed as a primary reason for the demise of America (America is in demise right?). The church often sees themselves as the primary movers and shakers in restoring the family. Family first! Family family family. Oh, but by family we’re referring to a husband, a wife, 2.1 children, and maybe a dog. We’re referring to the nuclear family–a very exclusive club to break into.
Has family then become a tool of excluding love rather than extending it?
Here’s the thing about Jesus. Jesus doesn’t define family like all of that. Jesus actually invited people into a broader definition of family–one that included those who not only have no blood relation but those who are wholly ‘unlovable’. Jesus even claims that following him will bring division to family units because his invitation is for love to extend beyond those boundaries! Interestingly enough much of the time Jesus experienced exclusion it was due to his radical love of outsiders. So when he says that following him will divide families my hunch is that he was speaking somewhat out of experience!
Alan and Debra Hirsch suggest that
The perfect family, if there is such a thing, is not an idealized nuclear unit of consumption, but an inclusive, warm, inviting environment where people can get a glimpse of true community, and therefore of heaven.
What if we allowed our definition of family to be just a bit larger? What if we allowed it to be a tool of inclusion rather than exclusion? What if we viewed hospitality as a reverential act, one that truly could not only change the world but transform a persons life. While the religious right spends their time trying to protect family values millions of people are suffering due to loneliness and exclusion. Protecting family values, if I understand Jesus, necessitates a posture of love and openness to our neighbor. And, again, if I understand Jesus correctly, our neighbor includes those that we might even be tempted to hate.
Family can become an idol if, and when, we value it over and above Jesus’ invitation to open our lives up to others. Because if our goal is to create boundaries of exclusion we are immediately in danger of viewing true hospitality as a threat rather than as a gift.
We got back from Hawaii late Tuesday night. Wednesday was a whirlwind of excited (and jealous) kids. Thursday was filled with meetings, appointments, and general catching up.
then.
Friday hit.
Friday morning Jess’ sister had surgery (second in a month). Friday night I started chemo. Friday night India got her toe smashed under my parents front door. Her and Jones were playing and chasing each other when next thing we knew India was outside screaming. From the window next to the front door my dad could see India laying flat on her back with her toe wedged in the shut door. The only thing we could think to do was to rip the door open. The girl was in pretty extreme pain and the toe was mangled to the extent that the four seasoned parents present were awkwardly shook up. To make a long story short, by Saturday and after a trip to the hospital (our wonderful medical care does not have urgent care nor are they able to do same day or, as it would seem, same week appointments), India’s toe was “simply” mangled and bone bruised but not broken (they don’t think).
Saturday and Sunday consisted of chemo, a housewarming party, our regular Sunday Community meal, Jess taking care of her post-surgery-sister, a kids birthday party, and India’s hospital visit for her toe.
Monday morning at about 8am as India was laying in bed something popped in her neck. She cried and screamed for about forty-five minutes and did not move her neck (literally) from that moment until this morning (Tuesday). Not knowing what happened nor the extent of the damage we were instructed by the advice nurse to not move her and that she needed to be seen by a doctor. So we called an ambulance. The paramedics were able to discern that it was most likely nothing having to do with the spine and was probably muscle pain. They were able to get her to wiggle her head just a bit, enough to give us confidence that she didn’t need to be shipped via an ambulance. We decided to give it some time, if it was just muscular in nature then we figured a kinked neck didn’t necessarily need hospital treatment. Then we started reading about tetanus symptoms (remember India had just had her toe shaved off by the metal flashing from a door and has not had a tetanus shot) and decided that maybe we should take her in! On the way to the ER we called our naturopath to get some advice and even though it was his day off he had us meet him at his clinic. At the clinic Dr. Zeff checked her out, gave her some magic homeopathic stuff, and ruled out tetanus. Still unable to move her neck and still in incredible pain we at least re-confirmed that it wasn’t some catastrophic bad thing. That night we took her into a chiropractor (he stayed after hours in order to treat her!) where he spent about an hour and a half working with her, helping her understand what was going on, and trying to help her remove some of the pain and gain back mobility. We couldn’t have been more impressed with him (we’ll see him again today).
The good news is that India woke up this morning with better movement, less pain, and more energy. Mom and dad on the other hand…woke up this morning exhausted and ready for a vacation. Hawaii anyone?
Here’s India’s take on the whole thing:
Once I hurt my toe it was so bad I cried and cried. And they had to lift the door up to get my toe out and pull it open and some of my skin pulled off. And umm once my neck got hurt as I was rolling in the blankets. And I thought it popped but it just automatically got hurt. The end.
