Category Archives: Community

Creating the New Normal

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A good friend of mine started saying the phrase “we’re trying to create the new normal” a lot lately. I like that. I think it’s a good summary of what we’re trying to do with the Grassroots Conspiracy here in downtown ‘Couve. Normal often sounds appealing. Teenagers spend most of their time and energy chasing after this illusive idea of being normal…But as Dave Ramsey would say, you don’t want to be normal ’cause normal is broke. While I’m not necessarily talking about money (though how we use our money to bless the world is a part of it) it is true that we don’t want to be normal! With regard to community and how we do life, normal is to be lonely. Normal is to busy. Normal is to spend every afternoon and evening watching TV. Normal is to idealize self sufficiency. Normal is to eat unhealthy and to eat on the run. Normal is broke (I mean this both financially and with regard to how life is lived). Normal sucks and does not produce the kind of life we were intended for.

Part of what’s been so beautiful in how we’ve been cared for up through this stage of our fight against cancer is that it is creating a new normal in our community. YOU are a part of creating a new normal for what it looks like to care for people in distress. Normal is to respond with help when things are urgent, when things are fresh and exciting, and to respond for a short period of time. Normal is for Jess and I to not ask for help and to suffer quietly in the name of self sufficiency and pride. Normal doesn’t work. Normal is not the picture of community that we are trying to create. The new normal is going to fight to be different. It means that the person in crisis is willing to receive help, it means that second and third waves of help come after the immediate emotional response. It means that lines are blurred, that everyone gives and receives as they are able, that every gift is valued no matter how big or small, and that awkwardness is embraced rather than allowed to hold us from speaking.

So thank you to all of you who are a part of helping to create a new normal for how we care for those in crisis and do life together. In no way are we done or have we arrived (arrival is a mirage, process is a reality…right?) but we are continually carving out a path toward what it means to do life together. The new normal is counter cultural and it necessitates a community of conspirators who are willing to rise up and embrace that counter cultural posture as a part of a movement of people who are different…because if we’re not different then we’ll just end up normal…and who wants to be normal?

How to Help

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I have been getting so many kind and sweet emails, Facebook messages, and texts asking how you can help. First off…thank you thank you thank you! Thank you for how you’ve already helped get us thus far, thank you for your willingness to both offer help and many of you who have not offered because your worried about trying to give us adequate space–both are a gift! As I keep saying over and over again: you all are amazing and we would not have the courage to move forward if it were not for the cloud of beautiful people that surround us.

I’m not speaking in hyperbole here when I say that receiving help has been the second hardest part only behind finding out I had cancer. I love helping people but I do not love being helped. I feel vulnerable and…well…helpless. And I don’t like that. So this post is difficult to write, but I know its important. For the sake of my wife, my kids, and myself I realize that I need to write this blog. Letting y’all help our family has been one of the most transformational experiences in my life (again, no hyperbole here) and I’m working hard on not letting my pride ruin it!

So after racking my brain for a bit here, if you’d like to be a part of helping our family, at this point in time here is how I best know you can do that:

  • Meals. I did not think that having meals brought to our house would be as big of a deal as it has been. But its been huge! By the time we get to dinner all of us are exhausted, stressed, and on edge so to have a meal prepared is an amazing gift. If you’d like to help, our wonderful friend Erika Albright has volunteered to coordinate this. Go through her ’cause she makes everything easier and keeps my clouded brain from messing up all the scheduling! Find her on my facebook friends (http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=688805708) or email her at: ealbright2k3 AT gmail DOT com
  • Texting. For the last two months we’ve been flying by the seat of our pants. We don’t very well know what we’re doing tomorrow or what we’ll be up for doing the day after that. Because of this iIt’s been the little surprise and random things that have brought some great joys. We’ve found that some of the greatest and most subtle gifts are from those who randomly text things like “can I grab you a coffee right now” or “can we get you anything tonight” or “do you want us to stop by at all today”. Text messages like this allow us to easily say “No, we’re good” or ” No, we want to just be alone right now” OR “yes, please, we’re dying for Krispe Kreme!” or “Please come play with my children before I kill them.” We don’t do scheduling well these days, but we do SOS texting quite effectively. (if you do not have my number and want it, email or facebook me. ryan@renovatus.com)
  • Finances. I have to be honest and say that we have absolutely no idea what lies ahead for us financially. There’s obviously going to be mounds of medical bills–but even beyond that we have two difficult realities that we’re working with. First off Jess is not working right now both because her job as a teacher limits Summer job opportunities and because of the nature of what we’re going through she does not really have time to work! Secondly, my job, my role, my calling is in starting a new Jesus movement here in the downtown Vancouver community. The Grassroots Conspiracy (as we’re calling it) is just taking root…and yet I do not know what lies ahead for me and therefore for my leadership of this movement. Financially speaking it was at this exact moment right now that I had been planning on solidifying Grassroots Conspiracy’s financial future through continued fundraising and possibly a part time job on Main Street…and now all this. We are beginning dialog with some respected people trying to figure out what all this looks like, but until then, and in response to people’s question regarding financial need–here are ways you can help financially:
    • Come to the July 14th fund raiser hosted at Pop Culture! It should be a blast and I think they’ve got some great music and stuff planned. It’s from 7-9 and all ages are welcome! (you can find its facebook page titled “Fundraiser for Ryan Woods!”)
    • Online gifts. Due to my role as a church planter (another way of saying we’re starting a Jesus movement) we’re able to receive both special gifts and reoccurring gifts through this website. It safe, secure, and fairly simple. http://su.pr/1VwRyQ Again, while we’re uncertain what, how, or if we should continue the fund raising process for our work, if you would like to be a part of getting us through this, this is one easy way.
    • Snail Mail. Similar to above, if you would like to send a check to help our family with medical expenses or whatever you can do so by sending PO Box 873575 Vancouver, WA 98687 written to “Renovatus” and marked for Ryan Woods.
    • Columbia Credit Union. Our local bank was kind enough to offer to setup a donation account. If you live in the ‘Couve and it is easier, you can go into any Columbia Credit Union and say my name or give them this number #444289 and donate directly into the setup account.
  • Garden. This one may seem a little out of left field…but I love my garden…and yet I’m kind of helpless to take care of it as I should! I tried and succeeded one day in watering my front and back garden areas only to realize that it about killed my body for the rest of the day. If you ever want to help water my garden in the morning, or help tie up my growing sugar snap peas, etc. I’d love the help! The best way would be the texting approach, to drop a text offering to come over and water would be easy and would allow me to say “yes please!” or “No, my mom is here and is taking care of it”…now if we could only get some sun up here in the NW!
  • So much more. I realize there is so much more I could write. I have tried to focus on the immediate practical needs–but at this point much of my time is spent in prayer, in research, in learning about clinical trials, in learning about what resources are available to us a part of the spinal cancer family, etc. Many of you are praying, many of you have shared information regarding research, and many of you know resources. I know there are many ways here that y’all can help and I’m wide open to receive it.

Thank you all for your love, your care, your support, and your prayer. You are making love more and more tangible in my life and I cannot say thank you enough.

Joining the Dispatch Fun?

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Since January of 2009 I have put together a monthly (OK, maybe it doesn’t always turn out to be monthly, but that was the goal!) newsletter. It has morphed and changed over the years as much as I myself have changed and become a different person focused on different things. Today I refer to it as a Dispatch from Downtown as it chronicles the activity and dreaming of the Grassroots Conspiracy movement that we are a part of starting here in downtown Vancouver, WA.

One of my goals is to not just tell you about what we are doing but to allow you space to enter into some of the life and movement of our downtown community. Therefore much of the content in these Dispatches is written by amazing individuals from our neighborhood who are living and dreaming the Conspiracy into reality. As I spend the next week putting the finishing touches on June’s Dispatch from Downtown I want to invite anyone and everyone who is interested to sign-up to receive it! If you’ve been following my blog and our journey through all this health stuff then you’re fully aware that what there truly is amazing things happening here in downtown Vancouver. There really is a Grassroots Conspiracy emerging where a whole community is developing around the Jesus idea of love, compassion, dying to self, and generosity…I just never expected or intended to be the guinea pig in the middle experiencing it all! I thought I would be the one doing it but instead I’m the one receiving it!

So my invitation to you is if you are not currently signed up to hear the stories, to read the report of the amazing things going on I would be remiss if I did not invite you to join in the fun! So below is a quick and easy way to join. Oh, and please feel free to invite your neighbors, friends, co-workers, aunts, uncles, chia pets, second cousins twice removed, mothers, fathers, and small little babies to join in the fun too. The story is getting too good to miss out on!
peace.

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Causality or Conspiracy

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It’s funny how one of the first places we all went when the tumor stuff started was cause. Why in the world would a tumor pop up in the middle of my spinal cord in the middle of my back? (clearly and soberly the hope is that it didn’t metastasize from some other place. If this ends up being true then the jokes just aren’t quite as funny! Which makes me want to write this blog sooner than later! Ah!) I’ve been joking about how I never should have started taping my cell phone to my back as I walked around. Damn celular radiation! Then we had some who have questioned the 1920’s community home that we live in. Are we living in a mold-infested and toxic laden home that is causing both my son and I to have negative and surprising health concerns?! We’re all trying to figure out the why question and so I’ve decided to make a list of some of the things that changed 4-5 months ago. These things are potentially directly correlated to the emergence of the tumor in my spine and Jones’ swollen lymph nodes and must be treated as so:
  1. Valentines Day. Could our over consumption of chocolate and excessive euphoria due to the mad card making we did for my wife really have caused something like this? Timing would say yes!
  2. Obio the cat. Ok, so maybe we already had Obio at this point…but I feel like I started being annoyed at the way he used his kitty litter right about this time period. This was a major change and cannot be ruled out.
  3. That one dude. You remember who you are. I met you at the pub, we talked about gardening and chickens and such. You had brown hair, drank some local brew…I feel bad but our meeting just so happens to coincide and I cannot rule you out ’cause I think at one point you brushed up against my back.
  4. Ikea Rug. This ones it. We bought that grey flowery rug at Ikea and put it right upstairs in our bedroom where I sleep! Correlation made and confirmed!
  5. Costco membership. I knew there’s just too much good stuff at Costco, too many free samples, too many flashlights in one package…too much to not make a connection to the fact that we started shopping at Costco again at the beginning of this year. Coincidence? Only my surgeon can say.
  6. Christmas. So maybe I’m stretching back a little too far here, but there is a chance that Christmas did this to me. Christmas brings with it all sorts of alternative and new experiences. Eggnog, yule logs, bearded men in chimneys…
  7. North Carolina. I should have never gone to North Carolina! Spending time with JWH and the Rutba people, watching Durham literally shut down after an inch of snow, and sitting in a classroom under the tutelage of my professors must have done something to my body that was irreparable!
  8. Exercise. I think I remember trying to actually exercise at the beginning of the year. I’m a little fuzzy on the details right now but if my memory serves me correctly I tried to exercise and even that attempt may have given me a tumor. Important note to self: for the sake of my family do not go running, weight lifting, or use any elliptical machine.

Changing gears and speaking a big more seriously I am not one to look for causes. I am not one to seek out justification, to try to figure out how God has “willed” something like this to happen. My five year old son seems to share my perspective because the night before my surgery I sat down with my son and tried to have a special conversation with him regarding “daddy’s big day”.

Jones: “daddy, it’s not that big of a deal”

Me: “You don’t think so?”

Jones: “People all over the world have tumors right now”

Me: “I guess you’re right. I guess this is something new to our family but it’s actually pretty normal on a global perspective huh?”

Jones: “Yeah. And many of those people are dying from them.”

Me: “Dying? I like to think that many people are finding new life as those tumors are removed from  their bodies!”

Jones: “What about people in Africa who do not have access to adequate medical facilities or doctors?”

Me: “Wow, you’re right. I guess we should feel really lucky and special that we live in a place where we have such good doctors huh?”

Jones: “Yeah. Can I have another pillow I’m ready for bed.”

Me: “Sure. Goodnight.”

Talk about perspective right?! Stuff happens and we don’t know why. Sometimes we’re blessed to find a cause and sometimes we are not. In my case…and I may look foolish in saying so I just can’t help but marvel at the timing of it all. The week I finished grad school and entered into what was supposed to be a two week sabbatical period was when the painful symptoms emerged. Then week following my two week sabbatical was the moment I had been counting down to when my time was completely 100% freed to do what I had been working toward doing for four years–namely giving myself completely to the work of creating the Grassroots Conspiracy in the downtown community. Instead on that first “free” Monday I was on my back for eight hours in MRI machines. Timing wise nothing was going according to plan, my eagerness to enter into new activity kept getting interrupted by all this health stuff! A good friend of mine and someone I respect deeply reflected that it

Seems like health issues come in waves, especially when…on the cusp of some strategic ministry breakthrough.

Essentially it seems like when big things are about to happen big things tend to happen (I’m quite the writer eh?) The irony beauty of all this is that instead of ME trying to work and create something in our community, everything has been turned around. I’ve been thrust into the test tube of our own dreaming. We sought out to create a community of people who are learning to buy into the Jesus way of dying to self and living for others and rather than having space and energy to live it out myself I am being forced to be the guinea pig. At first I hated it, it embarrassed me to be the recipient of all of your love. Today it still embarrasses me and continuously freaks me out as my family is showered with the love, care, and selflessness of an entire community! I’m supposed to be caring for you! I’m supposed to be doing this, I’m supposed to be coordinating meals for MY neighbors, I’m supposed to be helping YOU. Oh the irony beauty of it all. You all are amazing. Whether you like it or not you are living out the Christian narrative. Isaiah 61 captures the backwards nature of it all–broken people are bound up, mourning is turned into joy, justice if found, beauty instead of ashes–everything is turned around made backwards and beauty emerges. Love it.

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.

and its happening before my very eyes…

Like Jones said, “tumors happen”. The real story here is that prayer, love, and sacrifice that has been given to my family because of you all does not “just happen”. You people are co-conspirators of the greatest kind.

Why YOU are Killing Me

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In the 4West rehab unit here in the MoJo wing at Southwest Washington Medical Center Sunday’s are our day off. No scheduled therapy sessions on Sunday, its the chill day. Its the day of rest.

Or is it?

By the end of today I was beat, I was beat to a pulp and tired and exhausted and…tired. Did I mention how tired I was? So I didn’t do any formal physical therapy today but I was blessed to live into the world that I love. My good friend Kevin brought Stumptown coffee at nine this morning and we an amazing morning together…and from that point on each hour brought a new friend (or two or three or six) to spend time with. Ranging from our downtown crew, to my children, to old family friends we were blessed with love from nine to nine today. Near the end of it I crawled (or was hoisted) into bed and told our friends that I might just sleep while they all talked…but I couldn’t stop! I can’t stop talking to any of you (that’s what I’m doing right now at 3am isn’t?!) because it’s what I love! I love you all, I love talking with you, I love hearing your stories and making you hear mine!

Much of the conversation today was directed toward the simple fact that I’ve decided that it is literally completely impossible to go through the process of rehab and recovery with negativity if you are surrounded and supported as we are and have been.* You all are changing everything because you have been so present physically, emotionally, spiritually, and any other -ally that might arise. How can I not feel hopeful about my bodies future with so much support and encouragement around me? So while I’m beat from talking so much on my “day off” I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you to each and every person who has visited, who has called, who has emailed, who has texted, who has facebooked, who has stalked the blog, who has messaged my parents, who waited in the waiting room, who prayed over us the night before, who stopped by the house leading up to the surgery, and those who are praying and waiting eagerly to jump in once we talk to a surgeon on Tuesday (the 7th) concerning Jones’ lymphs. You are all a part of this and I loved spending twelve hours today with a collection of you. You wear me out…but based on Jurgen’s face when he left tonight I’m pretty sure my catheter stories kind of wear you out too.

Love and peace to you all.

 

* As I type this I realize some of the foolishness of my statement. If my body were regressing right now, if I were getting infections or other major set backs I realize that things would be different…and this genuine realization is kind of sobering actually ’cause it it shows how much more valuable this emotional and spiritual support is especially if/when the setbacks come!