Category Archives: Community

Faceless People

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I’m sitting in a café walled on one side by windows from floor to celling. Surprisingly I’m having a hard time seeing my computer screen because of the streams of sunlight coming through the windows. It feels good for the left side of my body to be hot from direct sunlight.

Strangely enough as people walk down the street next to me I cannot see any of their faces. The bar that runs the length of the wall of windows just happens to block my view of the face of every single person that walks by. So I stare out the windows at a faceless people. I was struck by the fact that as far as I was concerned these people had no identity without a face. Bodies without faces are nobodies. Had my wife changed her clothes she could have walked by and I would not notice. The mayor could have just passed and I’d never know the difference…all because I can’t see their face.

The Internet is a dangerous place for dialog because we cannot see people’s faces. Yes, maybe we have an icon that represents that person, but the person we’re actually in dialog with is a figment of our imagination. They are fictitious in every way as much as The Social Network’s take on Mark Zuckerberg is fictitious.

In life and online we prefer to deal with icons. Rather than making space to listen to you, to allow you to inform me about yourself I have preconceived ideas of who you are and what you’re about. An icon. We prefer to deal with representations of people than real people. Real people are complex while icons are simple.

My hope is to find enough peace and courage within myself to allow you to be a person in the fullest sense of the word. Yes I’ll still have my preconceived ideas about you, but am I willing to lay those down and allow relationship to reveal your face? For the love of Facebook I hope so.

Why Coexistence isn't Enough

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I’ve kept quiet about this because I know that I’d be shunned by my fellow Christians, but I’ve long liked the “coexist” bumper stickers. Not only are they creative and simple, but they also represent something that I think is truly central to the Christian story: relationship with those who are different from us.

Many Christians, I think, reject this bumper sticker because they fear that it gives consent to alternative understandings of God, creation, and hope. “If I have that bumper sticker than I am saying that there’s truth in Hindu belief system.” or “Coexist is clearly extreme relativism, it says that everything’s true.” or something along those lines. I don’t disagree that this is probably what many who own the sticker actually believe. But I do not think that this absolves Christians from coming to terms with the validity of its message. We have far too often drawn lines of distinction around us, creating our identity based on who or what we are not. I think this is not only destructive but also not in tune with the God who crossed many barriers in order to dwell amongst us.

When I see the sticker I am reminded that Jesus followers are invited to love all peoples, to find places of connection across cultural and religious barriers, they’re invited to be peoples of peace, to be boundary crossers, good listeners, to be gracious, creative, and humbly confident in discussing truth, reality, and hope*. I like the Coexist bumper sticker because it invites those types of actions. It reminds us that we’re a part of a larger world, that there is a massive diversity of thought, action, and perspective. I may not agree with the potentially oppressive** belief system of Hinduism but I can see the beauty of God in those that practice it and be willing to engage in dialog with them without feeling a need to place judgment on them.

With all that said I would like to conclude by saying that while I love the coexist sticker and what it stands for, I think that it completely 100% falls short. I do not reject it because it’s wrong but because it is not hard core enough. In absolutely no way are we called to simply coexist! There’s no hope in coexisting! To agree to coexisting is to give up on reconciliation. There’s hope in reconciliation, in relationship, in unity, in communion together. The metaphor that Christianity holds to is an image of the lion and the lamb lying together: former enemies finding peace and mutual comfort together. That image is not coexistence, it is communion.

Dear Jesus followers, don’t dislike the coexist sticker because you think its relativistic crap. Reject it because it falls short of what we truly desire! We’re invited to be much more hardcore than coexistence, we’re invited to the challenge of reconciliation. We have a choice of living in opposition, in coexistence, or in communion with our neighbors. My hope is that we choose the latter.

*yes, that was an incredibly long sentence!

**I call Hinduism oppressive, potentially unjustly, because it seems to me that its belief system has little to say to the imbalance of power that exists in cultural systems that allow extreme poverty and oppression. To me it seems that Hinduism at its core tolerates the status quo and thus supports oppressors. Sadly at times in history this can be said of Christianity as well. The difference, in my humble opinion, is that status quo supporting-oppressive Christian regimes are clearly incongruent with the center of Christianity—Jesus.

Sitting with Heroes

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I’m here in Durham, North Carolina anticipating a major winter storm tomorrow and attending my final grad school week long getaway. Prior to our four days of dusk ’till dawn class time that starts tomorrow we have been able to spend the weekend with Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove and the Rutba House community.

Saturday night we crashed an area wide meal and prayer gathering celebrating the season of epiphany.  As I sat back and listened to the conversations that were happening and observed the way each person treated the other I was amazed. I was sitting amongst a group of rock stars, heroes of nearly mythical proportion. I was sitting with people who fought for the dignity of all peoples, immigrants, convicts on death row, peacemakers who have been imprisoned, and the homeless (to name a few). The people I sat with on Saturday night go to jail for their beliefs, they fight (non-violently) for peace, they give of themselves for others. One woman was even responsible for sta

rting an amazing non-profit that many of you are familiar with called Witness for Peace. It was beautiful to hear them celebrate the season of Epiphany which is a time when we are reminded of the surprising and radical activity of God as is seen in the invitation of the Magi to visit baby Jesus. Outsiders, foreigners, and yet invited into the birth narrative of God himself. The group shared some of the striking appearances of hope they witnessed in the world during the last year, they then dreamed of what they might experience in 2011. It was beautiful. It was inspiring. And it challenged my imagination concerning what God might do in downtown Vancouver, WA over the next year.

The Anatomy of an Embrace*

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Speaking to the church–to those following Jesus who gather as the church, we have often had a tainted posture toward others. To those on the insides of the mechanism we have an posture of arrival–because of this we’re able to put on our smiley faces regardless of the potentially destructive choices we’ve made or have been made around us. When the assumption is one of arrival it means that we’ve got to look the part of one who has arrived. If you haven’t arrived then you’ve either got to be saved or you need to repent…neither of which are appealing to someone on the inside (anyone for that matter). Toward those on “the outside” our posture is one of superiority and urgency. First off we honestly believe that we have the monopoly on truth, right living, and the virtues of goodness, generosity, and kindness. We dole out our wares to the savages outside our doors whom are in need of our product. If, however, they do not think that they need our product or are not as excited about our product as they should be we then introduce urgency and demand a quick and right choice. Arrival, superiority, and urgency. I’m sure much more could be said about all this and I’m certain that these are generalizations that carry a mixture of accuracy and inaccuracy all throughout. The point being, however, that our posture toward others is oftentimes off. My posture toward others is oftentimes off.

What if we allowed the act of embrace to better define our posture toward others (both those that we’ve awkwardly deemed “insiders” and “outsiders”)? An embrace creates vulnerability, it is relational but not intimate. An embrace demands a blend of space and proximity, it requires activity and stillness, it can be both awkward and affirming. An embrace can be broken down to four stages that have massive implications to how we relate with the otherness around us.

  1. Open Arms— An embrace always begins with arms wide open (please, no, that was not a Creed reference!) you have to want the other before an embrace happens. By opening yourself you both communicate care and desire for the other but you also open yourself to the awkwardness of vulnerability. As we approach others in life there needs to be a level of of awkward desire know and be known. There also must be space for others. Generally churches have open arms that are symbolic of an embrace but they lack the vulnerability that truly defines what it means to open your arms. What kind of space is there in our personal lives, in our church activities, in our church structures that allows space for others? There has got to be space for an embrace before it will ever happen.
  2. Waiting— It would be easy to fall out of the boat on either side of the “arms open wide” position. Either in the manner of a creepster we pursue others with our arms open saying “if you don’t hug me I’ll hug you” and we chase people down and hug them to death or we draw a line in the sand and say “I can’t cross this line, but I’m willing to hug you if you cross it and come over here. Look at me, my arms are wide open”. The reality is that there is a level of patience necessary, a willingness to open yourself up, make space, be vulnerable, and then wait. Wait for response, wait for desire and awkwardness to emerge from the other. “Waiting is a sign that, although embrace may have a one-sidedness in its origin, it can never reach its goal without reciprocity.” Are we willing to give space to people to respond in their own time? Is it OK for people to be angry and not in the mood to embrace? Are we willing to act out of the reality that we need others?
  3. Closing the arms–It finally happens! This is the goal of the embrace…the actual hug. “In an embrace a host is a guest and a guest is a host” In an embrace two people become one, four arms become one embrace. Reciprocity, relationship, unity, sharing…all these things sum up what happens as the arms close around each other. I think that we often want to rush this part. We want to skip the waiting period and just make the embrace happen. When we don’t wait, however, what happens is is two armed embrace. One person hugs while the other flails or awkwardly stands motionless. There is no reciprocity, sharing, or unity.
  4. Letting go— you’ve got to let go. While the embrace unites two bodies into one, the whole equation is negated if the parties do not let go. The purpose of an embrace is to let go and move forward, to anticipate future embraces with each other and with other partners. We’re always letting go with purpose or holding on with regret. While the goal is the embrace itself, an embrace is ruined without letting go. I feel blessed to be a part of a church (for another week!) that knows how to let go well. Renovatus is a sending church, they do not wait for right moments to let go, but rather believe that letting go is a part of a healthy embrace.

We have found this framework to be very true in our work in downtown Vancouver and with Renovatus. People need to know that you genuinely like them, you’ve got to be willing to be vulnerable, people need space to respond, you’ve got to believe that their authentic response is crucial, “success” is measured through shared commitment, and letting go is a necessary part of joining together: we are gathered to be scattered.

*without shame I am adapting and borrowing much of this from Miroslav Volf’s amazing book Exclusion and Embrace

Community Living

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The seven of us (five adults and two kids) have now been living together in the community house for a few days over two months. Here’s is some of what I have learned in two short months:

  • Assume the best–We often assume the worst, but more often than not the reason I did not take out the garbage when I told you that I would is not because I’m trying to get you back but because I forgot. By assuming the best of each other we have discovered much more space for grace and honest dialog.
  • Patience is painful— We are all eager to add in creative, fun, and challenging rhythms to our life together, but we believe that we will be better off long term if we take a patient approach to our life together. Speaking personally this has been one of the most challenging aspects. I want us to all do certain things, to live certain ways, to challenge each other in certain areas, etc. I want to get started now, I want to begin things now, I get fidgety and restless…patience is painful, but crucial as we pursue life together in an authentic way.
  • Conflict is crucial— The most healthy moments in our life together thus far have been when we’ve chosen the path of conflict over burying hurt feelings or frustrated moments. Thus far the points of conflict have served to further define who we are and who we desire to become.
  • Money is awkward— Every time we talk about money it gets weird…and yet we keep doing it. At this point in time we have two areas where we share money (this is in addition to bills, utilities, etc.): we all pool our money together for groceries/household items and we all pool together amounts of money that is dedicated to giving away (in Christian circles we’re talking about tithing here). We talk openly about bills, each of our individual poverty, and our community budget…and its always awkward.
  • Rewards vs. Sacrifice— Westerners value our individuality, we even value a certain level of isolation. Some people think we’re crazy for living with other people and for always having visitors over. And they’re right for thinking this because the sacrifice associated with living in community has been present…but with out a doubt the reward of living in community has far outweighed any sacrifice that was made. Simply said, we’re better together than on our own. Maybe we just have amazing housemates, maybe we’re in a honeymoon period, maybe both…but does it matter?

There’s always more to say and there’s definitely more to come.