Category Archives: family

Jones' Story

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I’ve transcribed these stories for Jones. They are word for word, straight from him. It’s bedtime right now so naturally these are not his most detailed stories but I hope they are a window into my wonderful little boy’s imagination.

Once upon a time there was a duck. And he was a nice duck. And he would like to play with all the boys and girls and mans and mommies and daddies and grandmas and dads and papas. And he did all such nice things. Do you know what? He ate every single food that the people gave him. And the boys gave him food but not the mommies and daddies ’cause the mommies and daddies were sleeping. And you know what? That was the end.

Once upon a time there was a frog. Frog. And he was nice. And he was trying to do nice stuff. And you know what? To be continued. Ok? We’ll get the rest of it tomorrow.

Once upon a time there was a crazy crazy crazy crazy duckling. He lived with his mommy and daddy duck. The duckling went off in

the water snorkeling under the water. And his mommy and dad said where is that duckling? And he said “I’m under the waaaater”. And they found him! He was in the water. He was in the water with the elephants. He was just sayin’ hello to the baby elephants and then he came out of the water. Then the duckling was going underneath the water and the mommy and daddy duck went with him to the big elephants. All of a sudden they got to the grass and they saw the big elephants. And you know what? The baby elephants were under the water and the mommy and daddy elephants could find them. And the babies said “I’m under the water!” Then they went on a trip to all the big elephants. And the big elephants ate the baby duckling. The end.

Once upon a time there was a silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly duck. He was a big duck. And he was nice. The baby duckling grew up in that elephants tummy and the elephant spit him up and the elephant made him alive again. To be continued. We’ll read this story tomorrow.

Imagination Stories

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Jones likes to tell stories. He learned it from his papa, and when you make them up yourself they’re called “imagination stories”. Jones likes to tell imagination stories that contain about 17 chapters (that’ comes straight from him) and the basic format goes like this…

  • Once upon a time…
  • There was a little (add in some animal here)
  • And he liked to eat (add in something edible here, or something that is so incredibly not edible that it becomes comical)
  • And every time he eats (previously mentioned food) he sings this song…
  • (Jones now proceeds to make up a song about the food)
  • (this happens multiple times until…) that little (animal) becomes the biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest (this goes as long as he can stand) animal!
  • And now he’s a mean (fill in the blank)!
  • And he goes around killing all the nice (fill in the blank) and he eats them and throws them up and then eats the puke and he sings…
  • “Meanwhile…” (he always says meanwhile, and he uses it quite appropriately!)
  • There was another nice (fill in the blank)
  • (here he begins to tell a different story that eventually ends with a “to be continued”)

He tells, maybe, the best stories I’ve ever heard.

Oh, and today while I was pretending to be a doctor checking out jones’ broken eyeballs he asked me if I would check out his rectum because he thought it was broken. I proceeded to tell him that only doctors should check out rectums. Needless to say he was disappointed. But he wasn’t too broken up about it because a little bit later when doctor Jones was checking out my broken legs he asked me if I was able to put both my knees on my chest (I was laying down at this point). It wasn’t until I was laying on my back with my knees on my chest that I realized I’d been duped into a near rectal exam!