Category Archives: family

Definitive Proof that Christians are Weird

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I couldn’t find all the videos I was looking for, but here are a few classics that give much needed evidence to finally prove once for all that Christians are weird…in all the wrong ways.


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And one freebee that’s gotta be shown at least every six months…

Top 15 Things I've Learned About Fighting Cancer

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(I could have typed a list of twenty…but here are fifteen in no specific order)

  1. Having a good medical clinic with not only doctors that you trust but a supporting staff that serves as your advocate is huge (thank you Northwest Cancer Specialists!)
  2. Physically and emotionally things can swing from amazingly wonderful to hell and back in a matter of hours. Finding that tension between living in the moment and realizing that it truly is just a moment is both important and difficult.
  3. Learning to be honest with yourself and with others about how you feel (both good and bad…though for me being honest with self and others about the bad was much more difficult) is hugely important not only for support but also for your health.
  4. Prayer works. I don’t mean to say that it works like some amulet or charm, that it’s a hocus pocus trick that if you get enough people praying you’re going to make it. But God does speak, he does act, and he does value our voices. In all of my healing (both emotional and physical) prayer has been central…and it makes a difference.
  5. I’d rather be sick than be the caretaker. This is harder for my wife than it is for me and she deserves all the grace, pampering, and vacations I can muster to show her how grateful I am.
  6. A loving and capable wife/caretaker covers a multitude of sins. If it weren’t for Jess I would not be doing as well as I’m doing now. I wouldn’t have always remembered or had the strength to take my meds and do the things I need to do to bring healing. From shots in the belly to chicken noodle soup, from acupuncture in my feet to being my private chauffeur she has covered every base and done it without complaining or faltering even once. Simply amazing.
  7. Being positive is generally easy when you’re constantly showered with support from a loving community.
  8. Being prayed over by your doctors is kind of surreal. Both my oncologist and my naturopath have held my hands and prayed over me in their office. It was a trip and it was pretty damn cool. Not only have both of these two docs prayed over me but they are actively working in partnership together (a very rare thing). What a blessing!
  9. Setbacks are a part of the mix but they don’t define it. Blood clots, pulmonary embolisms, side affects, headaches, vomiting, constipation, weight loss and weight gain, swelling, rashes, etc. came and went (though some seem to linger at times) but they are not the focus. It gets easy to be caught up in these ‘little’ things and forget the real task at hand: killing cancer.
  10. I’d rather be in pain (to an extent) than be constantly overwhelmed with exhaustion. When you’re so tired that you cannot physically function in any way and your brain is in a constant cloud its quite debilitating. At the same time, however, it doesn’t ‘feel’ like anythings wrong. I like that when I’m in physical pain I feel like I’ve got something to fight against, an enemy to beat. The exhaustion stuff was hard on the emotions and soul.
  11. Waiting is what you do. It’s just a part of it whether you like it or not. You wait for results, you wait for recovery, you wait in doctors offices, you wait…wait…wait. Get used to waiting.
  12. There are three ways that we have been blessed by people’s help: Routine, random, and offered. The routine help has been a lifesaver (no joke, i don’t say that lightly); knowing that someone will help us pick up our house on a few specific days a week allows us to focus on things like expending the little energy we have with our children instead of the dishes. Routine help has been wonderful. The spontaneous/random stuff has been great too: when people showed up with cups of coffee early in the morning or pints of ice cream in the evening, when people randomly watered our failing garden outside because they noticed it needed to be done…this kind of stuff brought tears to my eyes often. Finally (and I don’t say this in a jaded way) anytime people offered to help (even if they were unable to follow through) it was a blessing to be genuinely cared about. Even when it did not come to fruition the offers mean something to me and I am grateful.
  13. Supportive parents (on both sides) is such a gift. We couldn’t have gotten this far without our family (siblings included!!). Enough said.
  14. You don’t know what works…and you probably never will. If (when) the cancer is gone I won’t know if it’s because of your prayer, the natural supplements I take, the hydro-therapy I do, the positive energy in our life, the radiation, the chemo, the things I’m doing to make my body more alkaline, the food I eat, the acupuncture treatments, or something else! Most likely the answer is “all of the above” but all I can do is to keep doing the next most right thing.
  15. A story is always being told. In death, in life, in sickness, and in health our lives are telling a story. I hope my story is defined by its inclusion in one larger than itself (larger than myself!) that includes love winning, death being overrun, and peace reinging free. And I hope that regardless of my life situation the story I live is consistent with its inclusion in the larger narrative.

It Tastes Like Burning

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I think I’ve figured out that I do better handling physical pain than I do the monotony of exhaustion, queasiness, and discomfort. Physical pain functions somewhat as an enemy that I can fight against while the other stuff seems to keep me more depressed and unplugged from life. It creeps up on you and doesn’t give you a direct enemy to stand up against. So I spend most of my week sleeping though Saturday, Sunday, and Monday I have a bit more energy. Saturday is reserved for my family, Sunday is my big social day as we have our community meal (though few realize that following the meal I literally sleep/rest from 4 ’till the next morning!), and Monday ends up being filled with prep for the week ahead(counting out pills, doing bills, etc.).

As far as an update, in the last week a new symptom has crept up where the skin on my sides and stomach feel like they’re on fire. The nerves are on edge and I spend most the day trying to keep a shirt, wife, or sheet from touching me. Today I talked to my doctor about it and guess what…I get to go back on steroids! The steroids are intended to reduce any swelling in my spine that could be causing the symptoms. Additionally today I’ll be going in for an MRI to make sure there’s no bleeding in my spine that could also be a cause.

All in all I’m a week and a half away from being done with my radiation and chemo treatments which means that I’m about five and a half weeks away from my first set of MRI’s that will show progress or digression in fighting against the cancer (the MRI I’m receiving today shouldn’t provide much valuable information at this point in time). Pray for that date at the end of September!

I miss being a part of y’alls life but I am still constantly amazed at how we’ve been  cared for. I could list off over 100 names of people who have brought us meals, helped pick up our house, or have sent gifts or cards. The good news is that now that I’m back on steroids I’ll be able to cry again as I think about how amazing you all have been (I’ve truly missed the gift of tears lately).

See you all soon (after August 24th hopefully)

peace.

Quilts and their stories

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At any given moment my bed will be covered by a number of different blankets. Each one tells a story.

  • The ratty blue quilt that’s barely holding together, the one we take on picnics and to the beach was made for my by my wife. It’s the only full sized quilt she’s ever made and she made it for me. This quilt has been to two foreign countries (Texas and Portugal) and its been a mainstay since she gave it to me after I graduated from high school and before I left her for two long years. I love this blanket ’cause it reminds me of her.
  • The tan quilt was made by my family and was a gift to my wife and I for our wedding (ok, the ‘gift’ was about a year or two late). It’s got stitches from my nieces, my cousins, my sisters, my mom, and maybe even a few others. I love it ’cause it represents my family and my marriage to my wife.
  • We also have a giant quilt covered in awkward photos, funny quotes, and meaningful words. It was given to us by the Renovatus Church community when we waved goodbye to our six year long love affair with them in January. Each square was designed and made by a different person from that community. I love this quilt because it represents such an important part of my life that includes some of my most favorite people.
  • My mom made me a small blanket that is so worn it’s barely used. It’s covered in pictures of my family and its squares are made from fabric of my childhood. I love this quilt because it reminds me of my family and my childhood.
  • I have been given two quilts during my time fighting against cancer. One was made by my aunts and my grandma. It has the scent of frankincense (a scent important in the Christian story and also an important herb in fighting cancer). My sister and her whole church also made me a quilt. It was stitched on by strangers and loved ones alike and has ribbons stitched on that are associated with central nervous system cancer awareness. I love these blankets because they’re reminders that people are praying for me and my family.
I love the story that my bed tells (ok, that could be take the wrong way now couldn’t it?!) While these blankets don’t capture everything that matters to me, they catch much of it. So please know that if you love me you’ll make me a quilt…or else.

Celebrating Eight

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We celebrated it yesterday, but it was at this moment eight years ago that I was getting last minute things together to marry my wife. We were just babies at the time, as the picture can attest, but we knew that we had to get married. There was no doubt. There’s never been any doubt. The last eight years have been the best of my life–I have spent them with my absolute best friend and cannot imagine what life would have been like had we not chosen each other. I’m not lying when I tell you that we fit together better than any other couple (sorry every other couple), we’re a match, we’re perfect for each other, we compliment each other in every way that you should and are different from each other in ways that bring joy and intrigue to our world. She’s spontaneous and beautiful and laughs at everything (everything that’s funny I should say). She tells amazing stories, makes amazing food, and is the most thoughtful person I know. We do life well together and I’d fight anyone who thinks they married better than I did. Marrying up is an amazing gift.

I’ve only ever kissed one girl. She journaled about me when she was eight, about how she was going to marry Ryan Woods. We started dating on January 1st of 2000 (that’s right, remember Y2K) and have never looked back. The first few years of our marriage were easy–we found so much joy in being together, in being poor together (some things never change), in playing house together, in just doing life together. Those first years were a whirlwind of laughter and joy. Who said marriage was hard and took work? Riiight. The next few years started to get real. We discovered that once you add in children you have to learn a new level of selflessness that never existed before. With every child (all two of ’em) came a new level of depth and challenge to our relationship as we began to discover that marriage really does take work and intentionality. In the last eight years I’ve been blessed to parent with my wife, to plant a church and a half with my wife, to purchase a minivan with my wife, to live in six amazing houses (OK, not all of ’em were so amazing…) with my wife, to begin raising two spectacular children, to suffer through twenty months of vomiting and bed rest, to explore new ideas and pursue new ideals that have shaped who we are today, to eat amazing food, visit amazing places, and to do it all laughing and smiling along the way. Nobody smiles like my wife does.

We have no idea how many more years we’ll be given together–but if the previous eight years tell us anything its that whatever time we’re given together whether it is six months or twenty-six more years will be filled with joy, laughter, moving, good food, exploration, and an intense friendship that drives it all.

If I were to make an attempt to capture what best describes us I could use words like awesomeness and love and all that. But I think if I were honest, I think if I spoke with clarity, I think the best word would be partnership. In ever sense of the word we are partners. We do life together, we do life as partners, we view our life as an opportunity to partner together in making a new future.

I love you Jess.