Fun with Google

I like that Google finishes my sentences for me when I’m searching. I thought it might be fun to mess around with this. I could probably search for others who have found odd litlte quirks (like my facebook/twitter update about a dead Pakistani on my couch) but I’m prefering instead to just find my own. Enjoy…

Why do my feet smell like…

  • Popcorn
  • Cheese
  • Corn Chips
  • Vinegar

I want to eat…

  • Healthier
  • All the time
  • His Children
  • Your children

Midgets are…

  • Funny
  • Scary
  • Us
  • People too

Republicans are…

  • Ignorant
  • Mean
  • Selfish
  • Hypocrites
  • Retarded
  • Morons
  • Wrong

Democrats are…

  • Socialist
  • Smarter
  • Wrong
  • Retarded
  • Communists
  • Sexy
  • Crooks

Why did…

  • I get married

Give me a…

  • Dollar
  • Virus
  • Job
  • Revelation

Google is…

  • Your friend
  • making us stupid
  • broken

Can I please…

  • receive the secret code that in it telephonically
  • Have my spider back

Why does…

  • My eye twitch
  • Asparagus make urine smell
  • my dog eat poop
  • poop float
  • your eye twitch

The meaning of life is…

  • Christopher Walken

Why do i…

  • fart so much
  • Indians smell
  • have green poop
  • have no friends
  • have so much gas

Oh my I could have quite the list of observations after doing this experiment…but I think I’ll just let your own mind run wild.

Dear Jones

Dear Jones, my wish for our relationship can be expressed no better than through this video. This is my dream for you and I…

Why Romantic Comedies are as bad as Porn

Yeah I said it. I know its on everyones mind and someone was just waiting for it to be said. Romantic comedies are as bad as porn. Let me give you a few reasons why:

  1. They Objectify Women- Like pornography romantic comedies objectify women in a terrible way. Porn trains people to value women only for their bodies. In porn you do not see women as people of value, worth, intellect, etc. but instead see them as a sexual toy to be played with for your own pleasure. In romantic comedies women are seen in their most base form of flower-needing, romance-loving, and relationship-driven people. Romantic comedies do not recognize that women do not always fall for Matthew Mcconaughey, and that some women actually value brains over amazingly good looks (I like to view myself as  perfect combo of both).
  2. They  Create Painful Fantasy- In my opinion one of the greatest problems with pornography is that it brings expectations into marriage that are based in fantasy. People see things in porn that they then expect to get in their relationship with a spouse (or significant other). They fail to recognize that what they have seen in porn is fictitious and in no way represents a genuine healthy sexual relationship. You end up having guys expecting fantasy from their wives, which when undelivered leaves the men unsatisfied and wanting more. Similarly romantic comedies create for women a fantasy of a guy who buys the girl flowers and goes to elaborate lengths to win the girl back after he’s said something stupid. It makes women believe that guys can be both good looking, thoughtful, funny, smart, and creative. Romantic comedies lead women to believe that prostitutes and maids can actually get together with rich guys, that people from the past can come to the future, that you can fall in love after three hours, and that a kiss defines true love. Fantasy. Fictitious.
  3. They Have Very Poor Stories- I won’t even go into detail about story lines connected with pornography. But come on! There’s enough money in the porn industry for you to at least create a quality story around your fantasy! I mean come on! And those romantic comedies aren’t any better! You pretend to be the finance of some stranger that nearly got hit buy a train and then you fall in love with his awkward brother? Or how about that other classic storyline where your son flys to New York all by himself in order to meet up with the future woman of your dreams that he only knows through a letter. Or how about that one story line where the clutz lady cop has to join a beauty padgent (wasn’t there a sequal to this one?). Come on! How much money do these movies make? Can’t you write some good story lines?
  4. They are Cesspools for Abuse- Listen to some of the stories from women who have left the porn industry and you’ll hear stories of the darkness associate with that industry. It’s terrible and actually, now that I’m writing this blog it doesn’t seem appropriate to make jokes about. Just know that I had some good parallels to “abuse” in romantic comedies (like pairing Anne Heche with Harrison Ford, keeping Meg Ryan’s career alive, etc.)

I think the point has been made. While I’m sure there are many other points that could be added to show the similarity…nay, the identical nature of porn and romantic comedies, I hope that this will be a strong enough message to keep you off the drug of bad movies…both with nudity and cheesy romance.