Category Archives: funny

Surprise! A few stories I never thought would be in my past

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I just never thought that I’d be able to claim these things as experiences that are a part of my past. Life brings surprises doesn’t it? Hmm…a few stories…

  • After ripping one out, for thirty minutes I sat there with my wife and our twenty-eight year old female nurse as she drained my bladder via a newly inserted temporary catheter. We sat there as she held me gently and talked about our kids and the weather. Later that night we all played cards together. I just never thought that, number one, I’d have five catheters ripped in and out, and number two, that I’d be playing games with the woman who did it! Awkward? No, not really.
  • On the same topic…I just never thought that I’d ever walk around with a bag of urine strapped to my leg…in shorts…the worst was when I was doing rehab therapy and had to lay down and do leg lifts. Lets just say that those bags don’t have any kind of valve to keep the fluid from going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Gross.
  • I never thought I’d have to re-learn so many simple things. At different points I’ve had to learn how to re-put on my clothes/shoes, re-learn to drive, I hope to re-learn to ride a bike, obviously re-learn to walk, and eventually re-learn to run among other things. There are so many things I took for granted! Who’d of thought?!
  • I never thought I’d have to inspect my feet like I have leprosy. Just a few weeks ago I got an infection on my middle toe. Mostly it was due to me not realizing that there was a sore that needed attention…because I couldn’t feel it. Similarly I never thought that buying new shoes would be so difficult! I can’t really tell if they fit, if they’re smashing my toes, etc. Strange.
  • I never thought that my four year old daughter would be a faster runner than me. My kids keep inviting me to race…I think they like that they keep genuinely winning!
  • I never thought that X-Men would bring me to tears.
  • Pit swelling. I never thought that I’d suffer from armpit swelling. Yes, it’s a thing. It’s when you gain water weight in your armpits because of those lovely and terrible steroids. Ever suffer from excessive pit fat? I do.
  • My friends call me Tony the Tiger because I’m covered in flakes. No joke (yes it was). Due to my meds (I hope it’s the meds!) my body is a peeling mess. From my feet to my head my skin scales off like a lizard. Its gross. I’m gross. And, yes, that just happened (referring to lame Tony the Tiger joke)
  • I don’t want to get gross on you here (the catheter stuff wasn’t too gross was it?) and I won’t turn it into a story…but lets just say that for three weeks of my life I’d head into the bathroom with a plunger, baby wipes, and latex gloves. It was a difficult time for me, and one that I’d like to forget.
Oh the stories, oh the things I just never anticipated, oh how I didn’t get into some of the more grotesquely awesome stuff! (you’re welcome)

Have You Seen it Yet?

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Love the story behind the story and am intrigued by the movie. Definitely hits close to home! Have you seen it? Should I?

Steve and Jimmy Will Make You Cry

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Ok ok, I realize I’ve already posted a few video clips over the last week. It’s not because I don’t have anything to say but rather I keep finding these great things that need to be shared with the world. I can’t tell you how much I love the late night crossover stuff. When Conan is on Colbert or Jon Stewart is on Jimmy Fallon’s show beautiful things happen. Watch the videos below and let yourself cry due to their beauty.

 

Definitive Proof that Christians are Weird

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I couldn’t find all the videos I was looking for, but here are a few classics that give much needed evidence to finally prove once for all that Christians are weird…in all the wrong ways.


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And one freebee that’s gotta be shown at least every six months…

Take Time to be Silly

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“Do you have space in your life for being silly?”

That’s the question that my friend Chris asked me today. It wasn’t intended to be a silly question, he was very serious. Later Dwayne added in the observation that there’s something about “becoming” and adult that makes us want to leave our silly ways behind. Katie becomes Kate. Joey becomes Joe. Billy goes by Bill. Why? Because they’re all grown up, we’re adults now and have to act like it!

There are some who live their lives without an ounce of seriousness and live into their silly nature a little too much. But for most of us we are so incredibly busy, we are so consumed with our work, with responsibility, with being mature, with being an adult that we miss out on the joy and freedom of silliness. Being silly in and of itself can be understood as an act of dignity can’t it? Allowing others to live into their silliness is to allow them to let go, to experience a bit of freedom, and to…well…have a little fun. Some might argue that being silly is actually an undignified way to act, but I would suggest that if we truly respect ourselves and others we will be willing to honor that part of us that demands light heartedness and freedom. Some of us will live into our silliness easier than others and we’ll all define what it looks like differently. But maybe its worth it to take Jesus’ advice and not worry about tomorrow, maybe its worth it to trust that the existence of giraffes proves that silliness is built into our worlds identity. We can’t escape it. All we can do is fight against it or give in. Our culture tells us to fight against it because you’re all grown up: Jim’s don’t act silly! Jimmy’s all grown up and has got to be responsible…OR…Jim could slow down his hectic pace in life just enough to find space to laugh, chill, do something goofy, stop taking himself so seriously, stop stressing about every little thing in life, and go draw with some sidewalk chalk infront of his house. I’d suggest drawing a giraffe ’cause you know those things are just plain ol’ goofy lookin’.