Category Archives: Jesus

It's Enough: Paying Bills and Finding Jesus

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This photo was taken almost exactly one year ago as Vancouver got its first snowfall of the season. India, who loves the snow, ran to the window and sat there in her own little world admiring the beautiful falling snow. As she sat there we heard her murmur to herself “It’s enough” only to then later exclaim to mom and dad “It is, it’s enough!”

Tonight I was blessed to worship with the Renovatus Church community. They’re an amazing crew in general and for a period of time are spending their Sunday evenings reading and listening to the words of Jesus. Tonight the dialog was built off of Jesus’ words and this photograph of India.

For all of time humanity has been looking for answers, most often for easy answers. Generally our questions are about wants, needs, necessities, and preferences. How can I get what I want, why don’t I get what I want, why did I receive what I did not want? The way the narrative of Scripture was written (at least the portion read tonight) was such that the crowds of people were dying for tangible signs of God’s reality, they (like their ancestors) wanted God to meet their needs. So Jesus met their needs with bread and meat. Quite a few thousand people ate bread and meat till their stomachs were filled. But bread and meat were not primary on Jesus’ mind.

Later as he continues to dialog Jesus makes a strange point by saying that HE is in fact the bread/sustenance that they’re looking for–that satisfaction, that their needs and wants are not going to be met by bread and meat (whether it falls miraculously from the sky, is handed over by the hand of Jesus himself, or is found through hard work or labor).  Jesus makes the audacious claim that he is enough. If you’re looking for bread and meat that’ll actually satisfy you’ve got to look at him. Oddly, though, it wasn’t that he was inviting people to look TO him for provision but instead to look to him AS the provision itself.

Needs Met

Over the last eight months my family’s needs have been in amazing ways. Financially speaking we are in a strange place. Major medical bills aside, if we were to make enough money to make our budget and pay our monthly co-pays/medicines/non-insurance covered visits/etc. we would make too much to qualify for our partially subsidized health insurance. So our options are: keep insurance and don’t pay for medicine or be uninsured with my prescriptions. Quite the pickle! (I could go into more detail, but that’s not the point) What has allowed us to make it is that there has always been a small amount of money trickling into our savings account through family and friends generosity. That extra non-salary income has allowed us to make ends meet. Here’s the cool part though, at least on four occasions our savings account has gone down to zero only to be replenished with varying amounts within at least 48 hours. Each time we scrape the bottom of the barrel there seems to be another shovel full of flour to be used for baking.*

And while that’s all awesome and I’m overwhelmed by the beautiful reality of it…it’s not the point. Not everyone who goes through our situation is taken care of by friends and family so effectively…and who’s to say that if this doesn’t drag on that eventually bankruptcy or something financially painful isn’t a part of our future?! The point is not that God has promised to provide us enough bread and meat!

Is He Enough?

The question that Jesus invites us to ask and answer is…is he enough? Am I satisfied with finding my hope in a resurrected Jesus? Am I satisfied in the invitation to follow him, to live with him, to die with him? Is Jesus enough? If everything else in my life fails is Jesus still enough? Is there hope beyond life being tidy, beyond things working out (as I think they should), beyond getting better? I think there is. I think that’s part of what made Jesus so radical–he was wholly connected to the pain and reality of this world while completely transcending it. He provided bread and meat but he invited people into a deeper reality–a more real reality (good grammar right?).

When India was staring out that window there wasn’t all that much snow on the ground. But it was enough for her. Even if it melted that afternoon she was willing and ready to take joy in what was given. I too want to take joy in what’s given, to find satisfaction in what I receive. Even if it all melts away before I’m ready I want to choose to be disappointed by hope than to never hope at all. But hope, true hope, is not founded in what we receive but in who we are given to or who gives themselves to us.

 

* (Late Addition) Let me clarify some by saying that through it all we are still working as employees of Renovatus as one of their daughter church plants. While things are moving slower than intended due to my health we have continued the work and continued drawing a part-time salary. Some have questioned where our income comes from and if it will ‘mess insurance things up’ if they send the church money. The answer is no, we are always in need of new financial partners to support Grassroots Conspiracy. If you’d like to join you can do so here: http://su.pr/1VwRyQ . Hope that clarifies!

Bastards, two dads, unplanned pregnancies: the Birth story of Jesus

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What a crock! Have any of you paid attention to the lyrics to “Away in a Manger”? Really? Jesus didn’t cry as a baby? Have you ever bucked hay before? Try sleeping in it! You ever see a baby that never cries? That song is just one example of how we have romanticized and thus taken away some of the power of Jesus’ birth story.

How cool is it that Jesus was the bastard child of an unwed teen mom? How cool is it that Jesus has two daddies? How strange is it that Jesus was poor? That he grew up as an illegal alien? That he spent his formative years in the ghetto? That he pooped his pants as a baby. That Jesus had to be potty trained. Potty trained!

The story of Jesus’ birth is not a romantic pretty story of God coming to meet his subjects. No, it is a story that completely captures the experience of humanity in so many ways. When we dull it over we ruin the reality of the story. We miss the beauty of the gift.

Here’s the Christian birth narrative–

A divorced God* decides the only way to bring hope and restoration back to humanity is to work within it. So he sends himself in Jesus as an unplanned pregnancy to a poor teenage mom. He was a child who had to not only hold the tension of having that stigma but he also held the tension of having two dads, one was Joseph and the other was Yahweh–both fathers, both real, both belonging to him. He was born in a barn ’cause apparently daddy number two wasn’t on good speaking terms with his family in Bethlehem. Their impoverished family soon had to flee to Egypt where he grew up as an illegal alien until he was able to return back home to Nazareth–a place that you NEVER want to live and always want to be leaving. It’s the ghetto, it’s Detroit (sorry Detroit).

We’ve missed the story and I think we’ve missed out because of it. Christmas season should propel us to reorient our lives not only around the ideals of the Kingdom of God but around the manner in which that Kingdom was brought to earth. Single moms in our neighborhoods must be cared for! We can’t give them the ugly eye when their kids act up with the store, we must extend grace! The ghetto can’t be avoided as a place too dangerous for us in the burbs (or wherever you live) because Jesus grew up there. That’s his hood…and I  if I were you I’d try to go where Jesus goes ’cause I think he was on to something. Whatever we think about gay marriage maybe we should have space to honor any two individuals regardless of gender who want to love on a child–Jesus seemed to do alright. Maybe we should be gentle with those who come across our border because like Jesus it’s quite possible they’re running from hell on the other side. Maybe the Christmas story is even more than just a season of giving (though that’s pretty frickin’ important and totally fits the story too) but it’s also a season of reorienting our view of humanity because of how Jesus chose to redeem all of it…even Detroit.

 

* All throughout the Bible a metaphor is used referring to God as a jilted lover. As someone who has given his bride (us) everything only to have us turn our backs on him and demand a divorce. Even though he repeatedly says that he hates divorce (’cause divorce so often sucks. We know that) he, in fact, within the metaphor (and everything when talking about God is in fact a metaphor isn’t it?) is a divorced and hurt groom still waiting for things to be made right. God totally gets divorce and thinks that it sucks.

The Scars of Humanity

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To be human is to be wounded–it is to have scars. Scars are just mile-markers in a story and to be human is to have an active part in the telling of yours and others’ stories.

The massive scar on my back is an often hidden testimony to my surgery over the last month. My limp is a memorial to my fight against cancer. In the Jewish scriptures their ancestor Jacob walked with a limp and it reminded him (and everyone else) of his struggle with God. Jesus has scars on his wrists and his side that bear testimony of his being human. Gandhi’s physique told a story. Mother Teresa’s crippled feet capture that she always gave away the best shoes to others while keeping the worst for herself. Her feet (and her shoes) told a story about her life. Scars. Markers. Memorials.

I’m not placing myself as an example next to Jesus, Mo T, Gandhi, and Jacob as if I’m anywhere near their level of sacrifice. That’s not the point. No, I’m actually placing all of us next to that lineup because like those icons we all bear the scars of being human. We carry with us baggage from how our mom or dad parented us, from how a family member inappropriately touched us, from the death of a friend, from depression, from an epic fight with God, or from an innumerable list of things that scar our bodies, our hearts, our selves.

We are scared people and we need not be ashamed of them. They are a part of us but they do not define who we are. Think about scars. What do you do with a cool scar? You show it off right? You’re proud of it. You’re not proud of a scar because you’re proud of the fact that you don’t use proper knife safety; no you’re proud of it because its in the past, because you’ve moved past it (though its not left behind), you’ve overcome it (though it has left a mark).

I like the term coined by the late Henri Nouwen–we all have opportunity to function as wounded healers. We’ve got scars and scratches of many kinds–but we proudly own those stories as a part of our past, as a part of who we are. We are all wounded. Some of us are being defined by our wounds, we’re living out of the story that caused those cars and thus are dying from them. Some of us try to pretend like we aren’t scared and thus live in awkward ignorance and have little story at all. All of us, however, are invited to live as wounded healers.

The Nerdy Church

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Being different is easy. Anyone who’s experienced nerdom knows this. It’s not hard to stand out as different or odd because most everyone is trying to hard to fit in. The formula looks like this: look around you, observe the customs and norms of a majority of those around you, dress or act in a manner that is either opposite or off just enough to make it weird. It’s as simple as that. I’ve done it for most my life.

Being different isn’t hard. Churches and Christians have been different like this for ages. And like the formula above much of the oddness of Christians and churches has much to do with being intentionally different from what’s considered normal around. We define ourselves based on what we don’t do (i.e. we define ourselves by being weirdly different from those around us)

I suggest that those who follow Jesus should be weird, they should be different, but it should have nothing to do with choosing to be different from the culture around. That’s an easy way to be different but it’s not a wholly redemptive way of being different. The invitation that Jesus brings is to live distinctively. It does not require comparison to live distinctively as Jesus invited–it requires courage. The definition of what that distinctiveness looks like is not formed by saying what we DO NOT do but rather what we do do…yes, I just said do do.

On one hand Christians do not exist in a bubble, they are very much enmeshed with the context in which they live (as they should be! This is not a bad thing and deserves its own blog), but on the other hand they should not seek to be defined simply in contrast to that bubble. Jesus was not about the rejection of culture but about the restoration or renovation of it. There are obviously things that must/need to be rejected in our world, but those ‘rejectable’ things are often bastardizations of something that was actually intended for good.

Defining ones self (or ones church) simply by rejecting things you don’t like or don’t aprove of around you is easy. Anyone can do that. Defining ones self (or ones church) based on an intentionally chosen way to live is much more in line with the life Jesus came to offer…but it is most definitely a more difficult road to follow.

Rejection is easy–direction…devine.

Creating Meaning from Creation

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Many people believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible’s creation story. There are whole conferences and lectures dedicated to defending this point of view. My position right now is that I don’t care.

Regardless of whether you take the Adam and Eve story literally, the point of the narrative is to create meaning. How would Christianity–or better yet, how would our neighborhoods look different if they embraced some of the significant meaning communicated in this story? How would things be different if we understood that…

  • …we were intended to be at peace with the earth, with plants, animals, and each other. The Garden of Eden was a space where all the creatures lived in a mutually beneficial peaceful existence. Adam was even created from the dust of the earth! Essentially the story communicates that if it weren’t for the earth we could not/would not exist! How different would our world be if we tried to lean into this intended reality?
  • …man and woman cannot be separated. I’m not making an “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” play here. What I am saying is that according to the story woman cannot exist apart from man (it took one of his ribs to make her) and man cannot be complete apart from woman (missing that damn rib). In a world filled with broken relationships would it change anything to know that apart from others we are incomplete? We were not created for isolation or complete individualism! The whole man-woman thing is not at all tied to superiority or control, rather it is about connectedness. We are forever and completely connected to each other.
  • …we are partners with God. God invited the humans to name the animals, he invited them to be a part of the creation process by actually giving the animal kingdom some of its identity. How would things change if we viewed ourselves as partners with God in the continued identity-giving process of life?
  • …not only were we intended to be at peace with the world around us, but originally there was a peace and casual relationship between the creator and his creation. It was normal for Adam and Eve to walk together with God in the dew of the morning! How would life be different if we knew that we were intended to be at peace and in relationship with God?
  • …Adam and Eve were naked…and I’m pretty sure they were dead sexy (though probably a bit freakish looking without a belly button). I don’t think this necessarily invites us all to come to a place where we can all be naked together (though some could argue that). Rather I think this reminds us of our intended innocence. We were intended for purity, innocence, and simplicity (don’t clothes bring heaps of complexity to our lives?!). What would our world look like if we embraced our original calling to simple, pure, and innocent living? Jesus invited his followers to be like children…seems strangely similar.
  • …we are good. God looked at his creation over and over again and mused to himself “wow, this is pretty good!” and regarding you and I he even thought “Wow, this is really ridiculously good!” So often Christians start the story with brokenness and sinfulness but the reality is that the story starts with goodness. How would our world be different if when we looked at people around us we saw (and believed) their inherent goodness. It’s not that we’re all good or that given the opportunity we’ll all make good choices, rather its that our starting place, our origin, or beginning is in perfect goodness…what a better place to find our identity than in our brokenness!
  • …destructive things are only bastardizations of the good stuff. The devil came in the form of a snake and tempted the humans to eat the fruit. What I love is that early on in the story we’re reminded that the best that evil can do is bastardize good things. Snakes aren’t evil, they’re kind of awesome. But the devil used it to bring about broken relationship. If we look at most everything that is destructive in our world it turns out to be a bastardization of something that was originally good. Evil doesn’t create. How would like and Christianity be different if we had the courage to own everything good?
  • …work is a gift from God. Work isn’t something we HAVE to do, it’s something we GET to do. God didn’t place humanity in a box, in an empty field, on a cement pad, or in a spa resort. He placed them in a garden with plants and animals to take care of. Work was part of the beauty of their existence–how would life be different if we understood labor as a beautiful part of being human? How would we choose our jobs differently? Hmm…I wonder.
There are so many other bullet points that could be included here! Again, regardless of whether you take this story literally or not the reality is that it is the the defining start to the Jesus-narrative. And I think we have a great opportunity to be shaped by the meaning that this story seeks to bring into our world. Peace, communion, relationship, enjoyable labor, partnership, goodness…this is who we are and what we were intended for…what if we tried to live THAT out?