Category Archives: neighborhood

Causality or Conspiracy

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It’s funny how one of the first places we all went when the tumor stuff started was cause. Why in the world would a tumor pop up in the middle of my spinal cord in the middle of my back? (clearly and soberly the hope is that it didn’t metastasize from some other place. If this ends up being true then the jokes just aren’t quite as funny! Which makes me want to write this blog sooner than later! Ah!) I’ve been joking about how I never should have started taping my cell phone to my back as I walked around. Damn celular radiation! Then we had some who have questioned the 1920’s community home that we live in. Are we living in a mold-infested and toxic laden home that is causing both my son and I to have negative and surprising health concerns?! We’re all trying to figure out the why question and so I’ve decided to make a list of some of the things that changed 4-5 months ago. These things are potentially directly correlated to the emergence of the tumor in my spine and Jones’ swollen lymph nodes and must be treated as so:
  1. Valentines Day. Could our over consumption of chocolate and excessive euphoria due to the mad card making we did for my wife really have caused something like this? Timing would say yes!
  2. Obio the cat. Ok, so maybe we already had Obio at this point…but I feel like I started being annoyed at the way he used his kitty litter right about this time period. This was a major change and cannot be ruled out.
  3. That one dude. You remember who you are. I met you at the pub, we talked about gardening and chickens and such. You had brown hair, drank some local brew…I feel bad but our meeting just so happens to coincide and I cannot rule you out ’cause I think at one point you brushed up against my back.
  4. Ikea Rug. This ones it. We bought that grey flowery rug at Ikea and put it right upstairs in our bedroom where I sleep! Correlation made and confirmed!
  5. Costco membership. I knew there’s just too much good stuff at Costco, too many free samples, too many flashlights in one package…too much to not make a connection to the fact that we started shopping at Costco again at the beginning of this year. Coincidence? Only my surgeon can say.
  6. Christmas. So maybe I’m stretching back a little too far here, but there is a chance that Christmas did this to me. Christmas brings with it all sorts of alternative and new experiences. Eggnog, yule logs, bearded men in chimneys…
  7. North Carolina. I should have never gone to North Carolina! Spending time with JWH and the Rutba people, watching Durham literally shut down after an inch of snow, and sitting in a classroom under the tutelage of my professors must have done something to my body that was irreparable!
  8. Exercise. I think I remember trying to actually exercise at the beginning of the year. I’m a little fuzzy on the details right now but if my memory serves me correctly I tried to exercise and even that attempt may have given me a tumor. Important note to self: for the sake of my family do not go running, weight lifting, or use any elliptical machine.

Changing gears and speaking a big more seriously I am not one to look for causes. I am not one to seek out justification, to try to figure out how God has “willed” something like this to happen. My five year old son seems to share my perspective because the night before my surgery I sat down with my son and tried to have a special conversation with him regarding “daddy’s big day”.

Jones: “daddy, it’s not that big of a deal”

Me: “You don’t think so?”

Jones: “People all over the world have tumors right now”

Me: “I guess you’re right. I guess this is something new to our family but it’s actually pretty normal on a global perspective huh?”

Jones: “Yeah. And many of those people are dying from them.”

Me: “Dying? I like to think that many people are finding new life as those tumors are removed from  their bodies!”

Jones: “What about people in Africa who do not have access to adequate medical facilities or doctors?”

Me: “Wow, you’re right. I guess we should feel really lucky and special that we live in a place where we have such good doctors huh?”

Jones: “Yeah. Can I have another pillow I’m ready for bed.”

Me: “Sure. Goodnight.”

Talk about perspective right?! Stuff happens and we don’t know why. Sometimes we’re blessed to find a cause and sometimes we are not. In my case…and I may look foolish in saying so I just can’t help but marvel at the timing of it all. The week I finished grad school and entered into what was supposed to be a two week sabbatical period was when the painful symptoms emerged. Then week following my two week sabbatical was the moment I had been counting down to when my time was completely 100% freed to do what I had been working toward doing for four years–namely giving myself completely to the work of creating the Grassroots Conspiracy in the downtown community. Instead on that first “free” Monday I was on my back for eight hours in MRI machines. Timing wise nothing was going according to plan, my eagerness to enter into new activity kept getting interrupted by all this health stuff! A good friend of mine and someone I respect deeply reflected that it

Seems like health issues come in waves, especially when…on the cusp of some strategic ministry breakthrough.

Essentially it seems like when big things are about to happen big things tend to happen (I’m quite the writer eh?) The irony beauty of all this is that instead of ME trying to work and create something in our community, everything has been turned around. I’ve been thrust into the test tube of our own dreaming. We sought out to create a community of people who are learning to buy into the Jesus way of dying to self and living for others and rather than having space and energy to live it out myself I am being forced to be the guinea pig. At first I hated it, it embarrassed me to be the recipient of all of your love. Today it still embarrasses me and continuously freaks me out as my family is showered with the love, care, and selflessness of an entire community! I’m supposed to be caring for you! I’m supposed to be doing this, I’m supposed to be coordinating meals for MY neighbors, I’m supposed to be helping YOU. Oh the irony beauty of it all. You all are amazing. Whether you like it or not you are living out the Christian narrative. Isaiah 61 captures the backwards nature of it all–broken people are bound up, mourning is turned into joy, justice if found, beauty instead of ashes–everything is turned around made backwards and beauty emerges. Love it.

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.

and its happening before my very eyes…

Like Jones said, “tumors happen”. The real story here is that prayer, love, and sacrifice that has been given to my family because of you all does not “just happen”. You people are co-conspirators of the greatest kind.

It's All About People

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I’m making this up, but I think I’m right.

If you’re in business then it’s easy to think that it’s about the bottom line. It’s about income and expenditures. If you make more than you spend in a consistent, ethical, and reproducible way you should be good to go.

If you’re into religion it’s easy to think that it’s about figuring out what’s right. Its about the right religion or the right path. If you’re following a religion that is right and leads to outcomes that resonate with your definition of rightness then you should be good to go.

If you’re into philosophy then it’s easy to think that its all about thinking rightly. Right outcomes are less important than right processes that develop people along a pathway of consistency (I think. Honestly I get very lost in philosophy).

If you’re into art and creative expression then its easy to think that its all about freedom. It’s about the freedom to express who you are, what you see (or do not see) in the world, and to bring a voice to what might be left blank otherwise.

If you’re into education then its easy to think that it’s all about gaining information. The more we know the more power we have over our choices and our future. Knowing more gives us greater power, control, freedom, responsibility, and a whole host of valuable and important things.

If you’re into humanitarian work it’s easy to think that its all about fixing things. You recognize that the world is broken and your heart does not let you go on without being a part of the solution. So you build wells, you organize soup kitchens, and you care for the broken people and systems in our world ’till they are fixed.

Each and every one of those is of huge value (though I know that we each will value one much more highly than another!). But none of those are enough. None of those outcomes stand.

Because it’s all about people.

Actually, let me back up one more step. It’s all about this radical Latin phrase called the Imago Dei–that humanity is indelibly marked with the image of God. That you, I, him, her, that dude, that kid, and that one snarky old dude over there are all first and foremost created in the image of something first of all perfect, gracious, loving, creative, and beautiful. Broken as we are, in need of fixing, in need of more knowledge, greater freedom, consistent thinking, right ends, and even success–none of those things define us.

What defines us is our identity as a part of humanity.

Business, religion, philosophy, education, art, social work, and the many other elements of life that should be listed all come down to the same thing–how do we honor, cherish, nurture, and love the beautiful things we’ve been given–namely each other?

Obviously I’m not dumb enough to think I’m writing a blog post trying to answer that question. I’ll write that four point blog tomorrow.

But I’m also not going to be foolish enough to say that my wife and I are not making an attempt at an answer. For Jess and I (and those who are conspiring with us!) our response is this whole crazy stupid idea of creating a new Christian movement in downtown Vancouver that seeks to see a Grassroots Conspiracy emerge where people are finding new life in person to person interactions across streets, blocks, and neighborhoods.

We’ll see if it works…but the way I figure is it can’t hurt!

The Conversion of Place

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I was reminded yet again last night the incredible power and importance in staking your flag into the ground and proclaiming “I am here now“. The willingness to be present where you are at has not only become counter cultural but it has become, what I would consider, a dangerously ignored way of living. Too often the geographical disparity between where we live, work, and play is such that we are left as scattered people living in five different relational and geographical spheres in a scatter-brained sort of way that does not cultivate a soil that is fertile for rootedness and growth both for individuals and as a community.

After laying on my back for what’s felt like weeks (has it been?) last night was my one last hurrah as I spent too much time at one of downtown Vancouver’s pubs for a birthday party and fund raiser for one of Vancouver’s finest. By the time I got home (after a couple of hours) I could barely move and my chest, leg, and sides were swollen and hard as a rock (though with all my normal exercise  this is pretty typical I’m sure…riiiight…) but what a way to enter into my final day of waiting for this surgery! I looked around this pub and saw person after person after person who were not just a part of an actual community, but people who had gone through a conversion of place. These stories are not mine to tell, at least not here, but they are powerful stories of individuals who have found new life because they (for different reasons) were able to lift their head up in downtown Vancouver and see the people around them. I probably should rephrase that somehow because I don’t think it usually happens on ones own. I don’t think the redemption stories of place often happen through one standing up straight and walking differently but rather it happens as one person catches the gaze of another and draws that persons eyes up to the place where they are at. Metaphorically we spend much of our time where we live, work, and play with our heads down. But the rockstars I spent time with last night had their heads lifted up (in one way or another) and are finding significance, meaning, and a life of sacrifice for the sake of others. They’ve had a conversion of place. I’m glad that place is downtown Vancouver. And while I absolutely love downtown Vancouver I don’t think it actually has anything to do with this specific place. If I lived in Camas I would hope to be able to be a part of the same conversion experience. It’s not just about the uniqueness and specialness of a place, it’s about the belief that there is something special about each and every person–that a place is simply a gathering of individuals–and that as we collectively lift our heads up and say I am here now we are actually recognizing the presence of each other.

So be present where you’re at. Be here now.

Defining Rhythms to Life Together

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Eat-storytelling-dream-act

Those four things have become central to our life in downtown Vancouver. When people gather three of those four things nearly always happen. Those four things are not only rhythms to our gathering but they’re really rhythms to how my brain is starting to function.

Eat– Eating is one of the most deeply spiritual things we do. In the western world much of this has been lost to capitalism because we’re more concerned with getting things quick and cheap than we are with engaging the actual process and experience. Good parties happen around food and drink, the historical accounts of Jesus happen around food and drink (especially the story that the gospel of Luke tells), relationship happens around food and drink, life doesn’t happen without food and drink. Food and drink should never be worshiped, but food and drink is an act of worship. It’s a celebration, its a proclamation of our togetherness–togetherness with each other, togetherness with our soil, togetherness within ourselves (our hands prepare the food, our mouth enjoys the food, our body needs the food, etc.)

Storytelling– storytelling is not just about regaling people with a fantastic narrative, storytelling is what happens around a table. Storytelling is why I’m writing this in a coffee shop. Storytelling is what you discover when you listen to others. Everyone’s got a story to tell there are just not many people who are willing to listen and care about others stories. When we choose to listen, to ask questions, to remember and value others lives we are engaging in and valuing the practice of storytelling. We are all storytellers at heart, we’ve just lost our audience. Storytelling however is not just an individual thing–neighborhoods and cities have their stories, communities have their stories, even our house has a story. One of the most beautiful gift we received at our housewarming was a nicely written chronology of our house. A woman did research and discovered who its owners were, when it was built, and some of the things that had happened in the life of our house. I don’t know about you but I get consumed myself–with the fact that nobody wants to hear my story. I get so caught up with what’s next that I stop pausing to learn the story of my city, my community, even my own home. We don’t care about the past we care about the future! Innovation! Discovery! New ideas, new places, new experiences! But what is so profoundly true is that there’s no better soil for dreaming a new future into existence than the rooted and powerful stories of our past.

Dream– As was just alluded to, dreaming is a natural extension of healthy interaction with our stories. When we listen to others we catch some of their dreams for the future, when we learn about our community we start to hear potential new realities emerge from the movement of the past. Dreaming is rooted in our stories, in listening to each other, in knowing who we are and where we’re from. Part of the reason that listening to each other is so important to dreaming is that for a dream to become a reality we’ve got to share it, it’s got to become the shared dream of the community. Dreaming invites to question what could be, it engages our often dormant imagination, it invites us into the godly pursuit of creation.

Act– Dreamers don’t change the world unless they or someone else carries those dreams and makes something happen. Action is not only important it is essential for life together. We do not act on everything  (can you imagine the exhaustion?!), but we do act. We do not always take action, but it’s always a part of the horizon. Acting, innovating, actually creating is not an end goal as much as it is a healthy natural response to eating together, to listening to each other, and to dreaming new realities. I’m starting to believe that if we throw ourselves into the first three rhythms the fourth will be inevitable.

Vandalize With Me?

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I remember on the corner of Burton Rd. and 98th ave where I grew up there was an electrical box that would get spray painted by taggers every few weeks. The punk kids would vandalize it and then the city would paint over it. A few days later the kids would vandalize it again and the city would paint over it again. It was kind of funny…though I was just a kid at the time. In our neighborhood there’s been some recent tagging done on some of the buildings and its really becoming a problem. Vandalism sucks.

But I’ve stolen this new idea that we’re bringing to Vancouver. Were giving out these latex stickers (latex–so that they’ll come off easily) to people who will commit to putting them on abandoned buildings, empty storefronts, and unused spaces with their answer written down. “I wish this was a…”

The goal, the hope, the point is that we’re both trying to stretch our communities imagination, to dream about what could be rather than simply what is. And we’re also looking to capture publicly what the neighbors hope emerges in the streets surrounding our homes.

I’m not down with tagging (though I do love quality graffiti) but minimal vandalism that serves a greater purpose…I’m ok with that. It’s empowering, it’s grassroots, and I hope it stimulates our minds a bit.