Category Archives: random

Brought to Tears…Awkwardly…

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I can honestly say (I think) that my wife and I show compassion to people. But I can also honestly say (I think) that we’re also a little like automaton droids who have no feelings. I have no feelings because I’m an even tempered guy who seeks to cultivate peace in his surroundings–essentially, extremes are avoided and an easy going or laid back emotional response to things is safe and manageable. Jess is more of a pleasure seeker as a person, generally trying to enjoy the good life and avoiding painful stuff. This leads both of us toward a path of not often experiencing extreme emotions (I should say here that I’m actually more thinking about negative emotions…crying I should say.)

So for me to turn into a crier over the last 48 hours has been awkward and humorous all at the same time. I can’t stop tearing up. About everything. Insignificant things. Dumb things. Funny things. Touching things.

Here’s a list off the top of my head of what’s brought tears to my eyes over the last 48 hours. Oh, and let me preface this by saying that this is an awesome and completely honest list:

  • X-Men 2 the movie
  • Listening to Edwin Mccain sing “I’ll be”
  • Listening to Enrique Iglesias sing “I can be your hero baby”
  • Emails where people tell me they’re praying for me
  • Reading some of Jesus’ words this morning
  • Watching Law and Order
  • Telling my wife that I teared up while watching X-Men
  • Journaling this morning
  • Reading about people’s plans to pray for me during the surgery
  • Writing this list

I blame my ‘roid rage.

H.O.O.P Fundraiser Anyone: why circumcision is evil*

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There will be a measure on the San Francisco ballot to ban circumcision. (read it here) Some people are outraged. Some people that are not Jewish are outraged. Should we be outraged?

In other news it is illegal to tattoo your children. (read it here)

When our son was born the doctors were very clear that circumcision is a completely cosmetic procedure, it is a procedure that has absolutely no medical value and is done purely for looks. Is there a difference between circumcising your kid and tattooing them? Both create a permanent cosmetic change to your child without their consent. Both are painful. Both our needless. Both are slightly barbaric (or at least I can understand how both can be seen that way).

If Judaism and Christianity were not so influencing in our culture would we not also be outraged about the practice of circumcision? Should we nevertheless be outraged about it?

To be honest, I had my sons tip snipped. To be honest it’s probably because of some form of peer pressure. People didn’t exactly force me into it, but the only reason we did it was because “that’s what you do”. We didn’t do it because we see ourselves as united with an ancient Jewish spiritual movement (though this is true), we didn’t do it because contrary to our doctors warning we believed it was more healthy, and we didn’t do it because we wanted it to look better (I just gagged a little). We did it ’cause that’s what you do. I’m surprised we didn’t also take a hit off a bong, or hid in the alley behind our house and smoke a cigarette (we wouldn’t want our parents to see!), or take a sip of wine even though we were underage. It’d all be the same right?

 

* If there is any doubt– this title is exaggerated ’cause it is funny and more exciting. Lets not get carried away.

Why Christian Music Made me Deaf and Ignorant

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My wife teases me because I don’t notice the lyrics to music. We can be listening to the same song and I’ll have no idea what the songs about. Even when I try really hard to listen to the words in a song I find that I’m barely capable of doing so. What’s my problem? Do you know how many times I listened to Kansas’ “Carry on Wayward Son” while I worked at Outback? Do you know how much of that song I can sing? Yeah, it’s a bit pathetic.

For some time I’ve written all of this off on the way my brain takes in and stores information. Music does not in any way aid in my learning, in fact I have a hard time learning anything if music is playing in the background. And while I realize that there’s probably a lot of truth in this, I think I’ve discovered the real core issue. Contemporary Christian music.

I grew up listening to Contemporary Christian Music. Have you listened to it? For every song that makes churchgoers weep (due to its powerful lyrics not it’s terrible melody…though both could be true) there are three songs whose lyrics are painfully cheesy, trite, and shallow. The reason I’m not skilled at hearing the lyrics to music is that I learned early on that the lyrics to music was not worth listening to! Contemporary Christian music made me deaf and ignorant!

Dear contemporary Christian music, I will get you back for what you’ve done to me. Do you realize how many times I’ve sang loudly the wrong lyrics to a song in public? Do you realize that you’ve made karaoke that much more difficult? Do you realize how you’ve hurt my future? Just wait, I’ll get you and I’ll get you where it hurts. Michael W. Smith, I’ve got my eyes on you.

The Mean Lady

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It was early and wet but we were all excited as about eighty of us waited at the Max (public transit) station to head into downtown Portland for the Shamrock Run. Many people were wearing gaudy green costumes, green body paint, and goofy hats and jewelry. Most of us were from Vancouver and had to purchase a ticket to ride the train, the problem though was that the ticket machine is known for taking an extremely long time to purchase and print tickets! So of the 80-100 of us that were waiting for the Max most of us were in a long line that wasn’t moving.

Maybe it was the costumes or maybe it was the anticipation of a fun day with my wife and kids but I figured that the best way to get everyone on board the train would be for those at the ticket machine to just buy tickets for those behind them. Obviously it would be strange for me to approach a stranger and suggest that they buy another person’s ticket so instead I figured I’d walk up to the front of the line and ask if I could just purchase 30 tickets and we could hand them down the line. I thought it was a good idea, I felt kind of good about myself, and practically it was quite a useful thing…but here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Hi, this might be weird but if you let me buy your ticket I’d love to get us all out of line and just buy 20 or 30 tickets to pass down the line.

Her: Excuse me? You’re going to have to wait in line with the rest of us buddy!

Me: Oh, no I’m not trying to cut in line. I’ll stay in my place in the back and won’t even take one of the 20 tickets. It’ll just get us all through the line faster and we can then jump on the train when it gets here.

Her: You are not buying my ticket and you should get back in line where you were.

The Guy in line behind her: Hey man don’t worry about it. On a day like today when the Max gets here we’ll just all jump on.

I’m not quite sure what the moral of the story is. I’ve got a couple of ideas.

  1. We American’s generally fall into two categories. We either live off of and crave charity or we refuse to receive any gifts because we’re not a “person in need” It’s either pride or poverty.
  2. We also tend to find greater joy in the act of giving than in a person receiving. The fun and joy and blessing for the giver is often still centered in his/her own selfish feelings rather than in the blessing that the recipient gets.

I'm done brushing my teeth

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The dentist keeps calling me. I think it has something to do with the fact that I haven’t had a cleaning in eight years. It also might have to do with the fact that I missed my last appointment. Either way it’s caused me to get awkwardly introspective and thoughtful concerning the entire idea of visiting the dentist.

I’ve got no evidence (and wikipedia in fact would disagree with me) to back any of this up but I’m pretty sure that dental hygiene is a modern innovation (except for England where it hasn’t quite made it). The ancient Roman’s didn’t have toothbrushes did they? Did they wear braces? Get their teeth sealed? Whitened? Bridges, caps, fillings? Had toothpaste been invented? Did they scrub their teeth with horse hair brushes?

I’m done brushing. I’m going to stop eating sugar and start eating only beans and rice. I’m going to stop brushing my teeth and I’m not calling that dentist back because they represent everything that’s wrong with America.*

In other news I’d like to apologize for this post.

 

 

*I can’t back this statement up either but I think common sense would validate this as accurate. If not common sense than women’s intuition.