Category Archives: story

Are You Dying?

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Back a few months ago, on the day of our Roast and Toast we spent the entire day with some new friends. They flew up here from sunny Los Angeles with their cameras, lights, microphones, and the whole setup required for filming (ok, much of the equipment and some of the crew were brought in from Portland) and their purpose was to capture my story.

You might be familiar with the website Soul Pancake. It is a very popular site dedicated to creating valuable dialog. They artfully walk the line between the serious and comical (something I find greatly valuable!) and they do it well. One of the projects that they’re working on is something called “My Last Days“. The purpose is to both inspire and to create honest dialog about what it means to die. Their method is to do mini 7-10 minute documentaries following different individuals who are potentially living out their last days. While my hope and desire is to live out my last days in about forty to fifty years, my health has sadly invited me to live the last year as if it is my last. And although I am not completely certain how Soul Pancake came across my story, I am grateful that they did.

In about three weeks they will be rolling out their first installment of My Last Days and it will be featuring me, my family, and some of you who attended the Roast and Toast. I’ve seen the rough draft and I can tell you that it is high quality work, it’s powerful stuff, and they make a very strong effort to create a documentary that is not manipulative but is honest about the story being told. In other words, I am proud to have my name and my story associated with this project and I think that you will be blessed by what they’re attempting to create.

So What?

Here’s where I’m going with all this…do you or someone you know need to have your story told? Would you mind nominating someone whose story needs to be shared, whose life is one that needs to be remembered, whose way of dying is inspiring–inspiring not in a fantastic way but in a willingness to engage in the reality of death simply and honestly? It doesn’t require a polished and pretty view of death (preferably not!), it doesn’t require that you’re ok with dying, it doesn’t demand that you’re in a happy place, it doesn’t necessitate that you’re in a good or bad place physically right now. All it requires is a willingness to open yourself up, to share your story (whatever story that may be), and to let your story then be shared with the greater world.

This is an amazing opportunity and its one that I believe can have a major impact in our world. If you’re willing to be interviewed or nominate someone else please contact Justin, the producer of the project, here: mylastdays(at)soulpancake.com or message me at ryan@gr-c.org

I really think it’ll be worth your while*

 

*  As a side note, that’s a really strange expression. Worth your while? Huh.

Jones' Dream

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My son Jones had a hard time going to sleep last night. He said that he kept having bad dreams about ghosts. When Jessica suggested that he tried to dream about something funny or fun, here is how he responded:

“My dreams…my brain doesn’t get to choose them, the pictures. (all of a sudden he ‘gets a dream’) Now I’m seeing a table. The table has a tiny door that goes inward. I’m going through the door and it takes me to the ocean…”

Good times

My Friend is Dying

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I had a strange conversation with a regular at work tonight. He’s been coming in since the restaurant opened. He used to come in with his partner and they ordered the same drinks every time (a brandy manhattan and a gin martini) and generally the same food. Since his partner died two years ago he stopped drinking and started coming in for the community instead of the food. I know this because he only ever eats two bites before he’s finished. He is 77 years old and alone. I’m not trying to play this up more than it is. He has a sister in Arizona who cannot afford to fly here (he says even for his funeral) and he occasionally has a friend or two join him at the restaurant. But he was going to be alone on Christmas until an employee at the restaurant invited him to their house.

Anyway, tonight I asked him why he didn’t order his regular dessert and he said it was because he was feeling sick. “I’m loosing weight you know” he said. When I asked him about it he said that he was dying. “It’s a losing battle. My body is done and my time is short. I won’t be around much longer.” Fighting against awkwardness and finding it easy to ignore my duties as the manager that night I asked him what it felt like to know or think that your life is nearly done. “I”m OK with it, you can’t grow old and be a sissy! I’m ready to go because I have lived a full life and I’ve been everywhere I want to go. My only fear is that I will outlive my body. Nothing terrifies me more than losing my independence.” “Do you have someone to take care of you if that happens?” He said that he didn’t, that his sister lives far away and can barely afford her own life let alone his.

Somehow the conversation turned to Winston Churchill at this point. He recommended his favorite Churchill biography and I wrote down the title. He told me a story or two about Churchill and FDR, how for a longtime Churchill was the leader of the free world. I told him that I was taking an extended leave of absence from the restaurant and he said he’d miss me. I got his address and phone number and suggested that we find a way to talk when I’m done working.

He has ridden his motorcycle across the United States, he’s worked as a newspaper reporter, owned a publishing company in Hollywood, seen the death of his parter of 37 years, travled around the world multiple times, and now he prefers to watch TV and read books.

I think that I would fear losing my independence too if I was without community. I think that when you live in community you’ve already experienced what it’s like to lose your independence and it no longer seems quite as terrifying. I want my friend to live with my family, to not die alone. I probably should have said something about hope in the resurrection or something like that (I mean, I am a church planter) but I just listened instead.

Gun Control

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Just read this story about a church that’s hosting an “Open Carry Celebration” where they’re inviting everyone to bring their handguns, sing songs about America, and even buy a $1 raffle ticket to win a free hand gun! They say it’s a “celebration for all who support our 1st and 2nd amendment rights” and the advertisement invites you to “come celebrate our rights as Americans”.

Let’s not even discuss the issue of gun control and the right to bear arms. I mean it’s a very important topic but one that seems more suited to someone who has done more research (seems like a good English 102 paper). I personally just prefer for people not to shoot each other. Anyway, the big question is whether or not this is appropriate in the church.

I’ve got two differing thoughts:

  1. My first response was a toned down outrage or frustration that a church would do something so ridiculous. That a church would actually be a part of inviting everyone to bring their guns, to celebrate America, and all that jazz. Seems like churches have a hard enough task funneling peoples worship toward Jesus and building excitement concerning the Holy Spirits work in peoples lives. Do we really want to spend our time drumming up enthusiasm for carrying guns and worshiping our nation? Is that the churches role? Isn’t our role to be the body of Christ? Didn’t the early church have a simple motto “Jesus is Lord” which was in stark opposition to the phrase of the day “Caesar is Lord”. In other words when the Roman empire was trying to get it’s citizens to sing the praises of Caesar the early church turned their phrases upside down and reinterpreted them to give glory to the true savior of the people. While no president has claimed to be God, it is interesting that in honor of our country we sing songs, we have parades, we light fireworks, we even pledge our allegiance (synonyms include faithfulness, devotion, fidelity, honor, obedience, piety, and duty) to our nation. If that doesn’t sound like the actions of worship I don’t know what does. It’s just interesting isn’t it? When hymn books include “God bless America” and “America the beautiful” next to songs like “Holy Holy Holy” and “How Great Thou Art” I start to have some serious questions about where our loyalty lies. So my first thoughts included all this. A bit of disgust. A bit of judgement (though I prefer to call it righteous indignation). A bit of…well you get the point.
  2. My second thoughts were an attempt to see all of this from the point of view of a good ol’ boy from Kentucky (where this church is located). I mean good ol’ boys are the people they’re trying to bring to Jesus. So if a ridiculous gun control day helps to bring people to Jesus then by all means do it. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t suggest doing something immoral and wrong in order to introduce people to Jesus, but I’m confident that these people have absolutely no spiritual or moral conflict with gun possession! So within that context I’d just place this event in the same box that I put other goofy attempts at creating “evangelistic events” like churches often do. At least they’re trying I guess right? I mean I’d prefer a different route, but at least they’re doing something! There’s a really awesome church here in Vancouver that advertised their Sunday services with tigers and monkeys on stage. Kind of goofy I thought. But in the end they brought more people to new faith on the lion, tiger, and bear week than any other in their history.

I don’t know where you sit on the issue. I’d love to hear your opinion. You’ve heard some of my gut immediate thoughts, right or wrong as they might be. At the very least let’s all agree that this is a really weird story.

peace.

Contextualizing Suckers

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I was blessed to have a great conversation with a person last week that made me tear up. We weren’t talking about anything necessarily emotional, it wasn’t a bear all session but it was one of those conversations where everything that a baby church dreams about was happening. This person was struggling because there were too many suckers around her. Other people use the word “follower” but I prefer the term “sucker”, you know, they’re the people who just want to suck off you. They come to you to be fed emotionally, spiritually, and physically. They want you to make them dinner, listen to their problems, and help them work out a solution. It’s not bad, these aren’t bad people, they’re normal people. They’re most people. Most people at churches are suckers because most people at churches are taught to suck. In many ways you can’t grow unless you’ve got someone you can suck off of.

Anyway, this girl was stressed ’cause she’s tired of feeding suckers. As a fairly new Christ-Follower it was great to hear her lament about the good ol’ days when they had other friends who shouldered more of the load, who they could suck off of. It was great because I was able to contextualize for her and say “Yeah, those people who you used to chronically suck off of, they were called leaders. And, well…welcome to being a leader!” I was able to tell her that she’s experiencing the pain of transitioning from being a follower/sucker to being a leader. And it’s hard. And she doesn’t want to do it. The greatest part is that she’s not leading because she went to some new leaders course at our church and she’s not leading because the staff wisely assessed her as an upcoming leader. She’s leading because she lives her life in such a way that she listens to the Spirit, cares for those who need Jesus around her, and invites those people to journey with her. So in turn people are following her. I think it’s John Maxwell that says that leadership is simply influence.

Part of her struggle is that all the churched people want to add more things to her schedule, they want to add “evangelism nights” (whatever that is), they want to add special trainings on how to do evangelism, and other “good” churchy things. So she screams out that she doesn’t have time for this stuff, that she’s too stressed and busy as it is! And where I teared up a bit was when I was able to say that she is living the life of a missional (and I defined this to her as someone who sees their every day life as an opportunity for God to use them to transform the world around them in simple, spectacular, and mundane) follower of Jesus and that this is our prayer for every follower of Christ.

By the end of the conversation a weight seemed to be lifted off her shoulders and I think she walked away believing the reality that the Spirit was doing something in her, that the draining she was feeling from people sucking off her was actually God pouring her out to those in need, that her role is vitally important in the kingdom work of Vancouver, and that she needs to hang out with a couple other leaders to commiserate and be sharpened.

It was a blessed conversation and I look forward to having many more.