So I was going through some old journals the other day when I stumbled upon a journal from when I lived in Portugal. Jess and I had just started dating in January before I left for school and then Portugal in July. While we were in the middle of this two year long distance relationship I was trying to imagine what reuniting would look like, how we could grow so much as individuals and yet still be compatible as a couple after all of our unshared experiences. After all our travels would she still be mine? Out of this thought process I journaled these words…

Dear Journal,
Now that shes back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that theres time to change
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there

Now that shes back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation
She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that theres time to grow

Now that shes back in the atmosphere
Im afraid that she might think of me as plain ol jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know youre wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way
Thank you for always listening dear journal
Signed- Ryan*

* Please note that a majority of this post is bs and must be disregarded as a random blog post thought up on a boring bus ride. While I do have a deep love for my wife, while our distance relationship in Portugal was miserable at times, and while it is about time to write a post about how wonderful she is…this is not that post.

If you didn’t know, about six months ago Jessica and I joined “The Compact”. We agreed to forgo purchasing anything new. Everything we buy, aside from a short list of duh things (medicine, underwear, etc.), must be used. It was kind of annoying and difficult at first. But the excitement of it and the challenge itself kind of drove us. We had to check ourselves after a month because we found that we were being too proactive in looking for used things on craigslist that we were nearly buying more stuff than we did before the compact. The last four months, however, have been much different. I’ve nearly forgotten that we are a part of the compact because we just stopped buying things all together. No seriously, we just don’t shop. At all.

So my buddy Chris and I get together once a week to study the Bible. Chris is someone rediscovering faith and looking to move deeper into what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. So studying with him has been really fun and exciting.
We’ve been studying through the book of Philippians, using this letter as a pattern to help him know how to study other Biblical letters on his own. Our first task (which has taken over a month) was to read through the book together and identify information concerning the author, recipient, purpose, and situation. On Tuesday, after taking a week off, we got together and finally finished that first read through. After we finished I asked Chris to give me a summery of what we suppose to be the truth regarding who wrote it, why he wrote it, who the audience was, why they needed to hear this message, etc. Surprisingly Chris rattled off a pretty thorough rundown of the book and everything we’d talked about even five weeks back. After he rattled it off I opened up my really dry, boring, and very scholarly Word Biblical Commentary and read the theologians eight reasons for the writing of this book and low and behold they matched Chris’ evaluation almost to a word! It was pretty cool. And I’ve got to make a point to say that I didn’t really lead the study with him except to give him some tools that aid in understanding the type of literature he was studying. I also would give my perspective on things that we were reading, but in general this was Chris reading the Scripture, using a few simple tools, and thinking purposefully and he was able to understand and interpret Scripture on a basic scholarly level.
While I understand that there are certain things that we need commentaries and original language for, but the Bible…well, it’s just really amazing. Well done Chris and well done Jesus.

Last weekend I got to go on a very interesting and experiential weekend up in Seattle with a few other church planters.
While up there we were lead in worship by Brenton Brown who wrote such songs as Hallelujah (your love is amazing), Everlasting God, Lord Reign in me, Hosanna (praise is rising), and pretty much every other song we sing in and around Renovatus. The coolest part was that he seemed so oblivious to the fact that the rest of us were there worshiping with him. He was just joyfully singing to God.
We also had the chance to hear D-Mill (others call him Donald Miller, but I just call him D-Mill ’cause we’re pretty close like that) speak a few times. D-Mill had a lot of great things to say, but the best was probably when he would say things like “A few weeks ago when my friend Tony and I were talking over a couple pints of…umm…coffee…” it was a generally mainstream and potentially traditional crowd there listening to him but they all thought it was pretty funny.
I’d tell you more about the weekend but you’re probably not interested. It was powerful and weird, motivating and exhausting, boring and exciting all at once.

If you read my blog much you will have noticed something. I tend to give many disclaimers. “I don’t really know what I’m talking about…but…” or “I’m not the most creative person but…” or something like that. It’s pretty pathetic really. I was evaluating this the other day and wondering why I did this. And I think what it comes down to is that it frees me from a sense of obligation or a need for excellence or accountability. If there’s a disclaimer present then you’ve got the freedom to write whatever you want without worry that you’re saying something ridiculous or completely wrong. I think I’d like to get away from this. I think I want to start stepping up and measuring my words more carefully. This probably will not look any different to you. My grammar won’t change and neither will my poor use of the semicolon; but I hope that it leads to me being more intentional in what I write or at the very least to be more intentional when I share my views and perspectives on important things.
Honestly, I think it’s a matter of growing up a bit. It’s time.