The Porn Pastor


This is an article I stole from xxxchurch.com. He calls himself the porn pastor and this is one of his “missions”. Does it make you uncomfortable?

I spent seven nights on a bus with the hardest working man in the adult industry. Joining me for the trip was my family made up of my wife Jeanette and my two kids, Nolan (4years) and Elise (2 years). Prior to the tour and in every city, I was bombarded with questions. Questions like: Are you scared for your kids? What about your wife? Is Ron Jeremy going to make any money of ticket sales? Why should I come to the debate to hear Ron’s side of the story? Do you guys only have one bus? Are you okay promoting a porn star?

And then there was this guy John who emailed. This is what he said:

Jesus said that the person who promotes sin, if I understand the verse right, a guy like Ron, would be better off if he tied a millstone around his neck and flung himself into a lake. Jesus was very stern with the person that stumbles a child of God into sin – like the pornography promoter. Although Ron’s conversion would be a really great miracle of God, I think you might be wasting the small amount of time you have available on him. He’s promoting porn. He’s made his decision and he’s proselytizing others to join him in his beliefs.

I don’t even know what to say. I am not one to doubt many things. I am the first to say yes most days and ask questions later. I continue to be amazed by God. I am everyday in awe of why I get to be part of the things I do. If you knew me well enough, you would agree I am not the best guy for the job, especially this one. Touring the country with a porn star. A friend said to me before I left to make sure I get it done. He sounded as if something I could say to Ron could be the difference in this guy’s life as far as eternity goes.

I smiled but thought for a moment that maybe this tour isn’t about what I say to Ron but it is about what I don’t say. When Ron brings the swingers to the back of the bus and my children are sleeping…I say nothing. When Ron moves into the green room with girls surrounding him…I say nothing. When Ron is nowhere to be found five minutes before show time…I say nothing.

I started asking myself, what did we sign up for? What did I think was going to happen when we step foot on a tour bus with the biggest porn star in the country?

I know what I signed up for. It was not a debate. It was not a tour. It was to be Jesus to Ron. My friend Paul sent me an email during the trip to remind me of that. He said, ”Be Jesus to Ron, dude. You may be the closest thing to Jesus he’s ever seen. Just be Jesus to him, no matter how hard it might sometimes be.”

Craig Gross like Jesus…not a chance! Would Jesus laugh at Ron’s jokes? Would Jesus swear when he got upset? Would Jesus even take part in a porn debate? I can’t answer those questions. I do know Jesus would be on that bus. I do know Jesus would drive the “Porn Taxi” like Stephen the intern did. I do know that Jesus showed up on the porn debate tour not just in conversation. He was there.

I couldn’t believe Ron telling me that the truest form of love is when a couple grows old together and can’t live without the other person. He told us of the love Johnny Cash and June Carter had for each other and how Johnny, who was reasonably healthy, died shortly after his lovely wife. Ron Jeremy was telling us this is the truest form of love. Why? It’s what he wants so badly, yet it’s what he is afraid of most.

That is the truest form of love found on earth but the love that Jesus has for Ron goes beyond Johnny Cash and June Carter. Will Ron ever experience and completely understand that love?

Craig Gross like Jesus…not a chance! Would Jesus laugh at Ron’s jokes? Would Jesus swear when he got upset? Would Jesus even take part in a porn debate? I can’t answer those questions. I do know Jesus would be on that bus. I do know Jesus would drive the “Porn Taxi” like Stephen the intern did. I do know that Jesus showed up on the porn debate tour not just in conversation. He was there.

I couldn’t believe Ron telling me that the truest form of love is when a couple grows old together and can’t live without the other person. He told us of the love Johnny Cash and June Carter had for each other and how Johnny, who was reasonably healthy, died shortly after his lovely wife. Ron Jeremy was telling us this is the truest form of love. Why? It’s what he wants so badly, yet it’s what he is afraid of most.

That is the truest form of love found on earth but the love that Jesus has for Ron goes beyond Johnny Cash and June Carter. Will Ron ever experience and completely understand that love?

CNN Headline news called while we were in Pittsburgh. They wanted the both of us for a live segment. They booked us in two separate studios in Pittsburgh to do the live feed. Why? Because we were debating porn and we both have different opinions on the matter that we could not be in the same studio together.

The world divides. Jesus unites. The world expects that differences get in the way of friendships. The church is known for being right and everyone else is wrong. We expect them to come to us once, they figure out they were wrong.
Not the case Jesus says…I have come for the sick, for the healthy do not need a doctor. Ron and I laughed after joining back on the tour bus after CNN to watch a replay of the interview.

The real story was not about porn. That is not why I boarded that bus. CNN missed it, but I know that the hundreds of people who saw us each night did not miss it. Friends. Ron Jeremy is my friend. He does what most of this country does except he does it in front of a camera for a living. Will he leave porn? Will he come to know the Lord? What if he doesn’t? What if he already has?

Those questions along with most questions I heard about this tour don’t deserve an answer, for what really matters are neither the questions nor the answers.

Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself.

Craig

P.S. Oh, the debates. Well in short. I argued against porn while Ron argued for porn. He said it best. Porn is just junk food. And Ron knows that too much junk food will kill you.

You should check out the beautiful pictures of my wife here. She’s gorgeous when she’s pregnant…shes gorgeous all the time…you get what I mean.
Anyway, while they were taking pictures I surprised Jess and jumped in on one. Needless to say it’s my favorite picture. And here it is:

A little about me.

I thought I’d share some more stuff about me, what makes me tick…

  1. I’ve had Patrick Ewings middle name memorized since I was like 9…and I’m not sure why.
  2. I’m getting my first tattoo exactly one week from right now.
  3. I like to garden
  4. Especially pumpkins
  5. I don’t like pumpkin pie
  6. If asked to start a song (like in a worship setting) I will always start Step by Step (or Everything I do by Bryan Adams). I don’t even like that song that much.
  7. My dream is to one day pee my pants in public for a joke.
  8. I’ve been detained while attempting to reenter into the United States from Portugal. They though I had some drug they called “cod”. I told them I thought cod was a fish. They laughed and let me go.
  9. I have extremely vague and yet oddly fond memories of two specific movies: Peanut butter Solution and Fatty Finn
  10. My greatest fear is that I’ll pee my pants in public for a joke but nobody will be able to tell…so in the end I’ll have piss on my leg and nobody will be laughing.

On a side note, are any of you clowns? I need a clown who can make balloon animals. Do you know someone?

Three stories

Story number 1
I remembered recently that as a child (up through maybe age 11) when we’d drive through a tunnel you know what I wished for? (that was a very poorly structured sentence wasn’t it?) I’d wish for wisdom. How precious is that?

Story Number 2
This conversation actually happened two days ago:
Jonesy: Daddy has a penis?
Dad: yep, daddy has a penis.
jonesy: Mommy has a vagina?
Dad: yep because she’s a girl. Girls have vaginas.
Jonesy: Jonesy has a penis!
Dad: You’re right, you do have a penis.
Jonesy: Grandpa (kevin woods)…grandpa has a tv.

Story number 3
This story took place at the hospital yesterday:
Dad: Come on kiddo we’ve got to go see how mom is.
Jones: Jonesy will help you.
Wandering by Doctor: You’re going to help me? (she was trying to be funny I think.)
Jonesy: (thinking) No. Jonesy not help, I’m not a doctor.