It’s Not About the Money

It’s not about the money–it’s about the story being told. As with everything since May of last year when I was diagnosed with a tumor in my spine it has always been about a fascinating and wild story that is unfolding from moment to moment.

Today we were overwhelmed by our neighbors again. Three Main Street staples (Vancouver Pizza Co., Compass Church, and Yogurt Time) graciously opened up their doors to gather people together and fund raise to help care for our family. I, in the meantime, hid in my home because I was not feeling good, because I was tired, and because my son was sick. Every Sunday we host the Arnada Community meal where anywhere from fifteen to forty people from the hood come over for lunch–so as the fundraiser was happening many of our community meal folk got their slice and just brought it on down. It was so good to be with them, to be with my people, and to have the freedom to do so in a less-than-healthy and functioning fashion. In the end, however, we couldn’t resist the opportunity to go down to Main street to say hello and to get a little froyo action…and, again, we were overwhelmed by the love and support of our neighbors! There’s no good words to say it but y’all are amazing.

Ok, back to what I was going to say…

Yes, we heard rumors that people gave generously and that lots of pizza and yogurt were purchased…but it’s not about the money! It can’t be. It’s not a good enough story for it to just be about that. The story has grown larger than that. Time and time again the medical bills have been paid. Somehow or another our regular bills and our medical bills get taken care of because we are a part of such a loving, compassionate, and generous community of people. So I can honestly say that I’m not worried about the money. Don’t get me wrong, the money is important and it is a great story and it is a part of the story and I should be using commas in this sentence. But my story the story that is unfolding through us in our neighborhood is larger than this! Let me see if I can explain it a bit…

The Grassroots Conspiracy movement is defined by experimentally living into a handful of rhythms that we think are transformational for the individual, the family, and the neighborhood. One of these rhythms can be summarized by saying that we try to engage within three circles of activity: inclusive community, worshipful life, and being a blessing.*

Blessing and Responsiveness

Being a blessing can be seen when we mow our neighbors yard, when we volunteer at the soup kitchen, when we scrub graffiti off the local shops walls, when we care for single moms, etc. But being a blessing is not actually about activity–it is all about responsiveness. It is about responding to those around you, which requires listening, which requires showing hospitality, which requires creating space in your life, which requires a posture of openness to others. We can fill our schedule with doing nice things, with volunteerism (which is a good thing), with activity. But this doesn’t mean that we’re truly being a blessing. Responsiveness is all about the other person whereas activity can often become about me. The opportunity to respond rarely happens when we want it to, it happens in the middle of life, in the middle of chaos. Activity happens on my own terms, within my planned schedule, and in a context that I’ve chosen. Responsiveness demands that we’re willing to stop what we’re doing to be present for someone or something else. Being responsive kind of sucks. It’s hard. It requires much.

It’s Happening

It’s my belief that we are seeing a movement of responsiveness develop in our downtown neighborhoods. It gets me excited more than you know. I think that what we witnessed today was a community of people who responded quickly, without much fan fare, without much warning, and without much pushiness to a felt need that they observed. It’s not about the money that was fund raised (though we are incredibly grateful in more ways that I can express!!), no, it’s about the developing story of responsiveness that is being told. We, and our neighbors, are learning to be a blessing to others. We are learning to respond to needs when they arise. That’s pretty frickin’ amazing, pretty frickin’ beautiful, and it makes me want to sob like a little baby. Those who follow the ways of Jesus refer to this as gospel living. Jesus referred to this kind of stuff as the kingdom of God breaking into the world. Some just say that we’re learning to be nice. Whatever verbiage you use, the idea is that these moments remind us of how we are intended to live, of who we are intended to be, of what life together is supposed to be like. We get glimpses of it in these kind of Sunday afternoon moments, but in general we live in anticipation of how things should, could, and will one day be!

I personally live in a painful tension. On one side I’m pissed that potentially I won’t be around to see this movement develop. This is what I’ve lived my life for and to think that it could emerge without me makes me incredibly jealous! I want to watch! I want to participate! I want to be a part! While on the other hand, however, I have an incredible sense of peace (and I even feel a bit bad) because while y’all are seeking to live into a reality that will never fully and completely be realized this side of eternity** I will be basking in it fully. I’ll be done waiting, I’ll be done living in anticipation, I’ll be living it up as God originally planned.***

So it’s not about the money–it’s about a new story that is being told. A story that is marked by a way of life that seeks to bless others as we live close enough with them to hear their needs and respond appropriately. It requires much and it might not last, but it’s moments like today where our imaginations no longer need to dream but where we are actually able to see and experience what life together can be like. That’s something to be excited about.

 

* I won’t ever try to pretend that most everything good is stolen from someone else! We’ve borrowed and adapted this from a book called Tangible Kingdom. Good stuff.

** This blog’s too long already to attempt to flesh out this idea further. The idea here is that the world is broken and messed up (hard to argue with that) but that at different moments we get glimpses of life as God intended for it to be: loving relationships, selfless sacrifice, choosing peace over violence, etc. Those things (and we could list off so many more) are not the norm but Christians believe that when God restores all things to his original purpose and intended beauty those things will become the norm. Until then we keep trying to “usher in” life as it one day will be while knowing that it won’t be a full reality until God does his ultimate restoration thing.

*** I could be way off here. I’m not going to be foolish enough to claim that I’m fully aware of what life after death is going to be like immediately. You may be more aware than I. But I do think that whatever happens post death for me it’s going to be some sort of equivalent to sipping mai tai’s by the beach with a body that doesn’t suck.

 

An Epic Chortling War

There’s been a long standing debate in our home concerning who is funnier between the wife and I. You probably think that I’m joking (and understandably so considering that I’m pretty funny…maybe even the funnies person in my house), but I’m not…joking, that is.

Jess seems to think that she’s funnier than I. I seem to think that I’m funnier than she. Don’t get me wrong, Jess is incredibly funny. But lets be honest, I’ve been making people laugh since I nicknamed myself “Jokey” when I was three. Again, I don’t want to diminish my wife’s humor, nor do I want to discourage her from her continued attempts to make the world laugh…but have you been around me? I’m a riot! No seriously, I’m pretty sure that I’m pretty flippin’ funny…right?

Right?

Please tell me I’m right.

I need this right now.

I don’t know if you realize that I have cancer. Would you really look a guy in his virtual eyes who has cancer in his back and tell him he’s not the funniest in his own home? That’s like against the moral code isn’t it?

Right?

Please tell me I’m right.

Okay, okay, I get it! My wife is hilarious. It’s true. Go ahead and steal her phone, look at her text dialogs with people and you’ll see that she’s about the funniest person since Martin Short (bad example?). At night we often sit in bed and seriously laugh for like an hour straight….and it’s mostly because she’s so flippin’ funny. She literally caused me to chortle a few minutes ago. Chortle. Chortle! I chortled! My wife made me chortle and I’m not ashamed one bit!

I’d tell you about some of the funny things she says and does but if I did then it would most definitely seal the deal on the fact that she’s funnier than I. No, it would not seal the deal because you’d see how funny her jokes were but it’d seal the deal because no funny person ever repeats said jokes again (especially in this type of context). That would prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am in no way funny…something I’m not willing to accept…yet.

So I’d like to take this moment to honor my wife and to tell the world that Jessica Woods is the funniest woman I’ve ever met (I’ve never met Tina Fey). Not only is she incredibly gorgeous but she’s also the female version of Will Ferrell. And that’s no lie. In fact, it’s quite high praise.

Thoughts on Leadership from the Ground Up

I don’t read enough books on leadership. I’ve read some, I have a few on the shelf that I should read, but I wouldn’t consider myself a student let alone an expert in the matter.

With that said, as I continue to grow as a leader and embrace some of what it means to lead I’m learning more about what a paradigm for leadership looks like in my own context.

Leadership, in my context, is influence. It is earned and it must be continually validated. Authority is not necessarily given due to your credentials or education unless those things express themselves in a life worth following. As goofy as it sounds I think the phrase “street cred” creates the best picture for leadership. If leadership is influence then you’ve got to be connected with people enough to earn respect, to deserve respect, and to exhibit something ‘followable’. Entering into a scene with an assumption that people should or will follow you because of x, y, or z just doesn’t do justice intimate relationship between leader and follower.

This blog is not flowing how I would like. Let me change trajectories just a bit here.

In many ways I am terrified to view myself as a leader. It’s not only because I am become more and more aware of the reality of what leadership demands but also because I am becoming more and more aware of the huge and beautiful potential reality of a healthy, humble, leader…and that potential both excites and worries me. What if I cannot ever attain that fantastic view of leadership that I’m beginning to imagine?! Hmm…if I were to throw out some phrases regarding what kind of leader I’d like to be I think it’d include phrases like this…

leaders listen.

leaders have see things that don’t yet exist (both in people and in systems).

leaders lead with hospitality.

leaders lead by example.

leaders lead out of their brokenness.

leaders empower.

leaders never stop learning.

leaders are invitational.

leaders are imaginative.

leaders lean on others.

But more than anything leaders are just one piece in a puzzle, one part on a body, one person in the family. A friend once shared with me that they mistakenly believed that the opposite of bad leadership is no leadership. The reality, in fact, is that the opposite of bad leadership is better leadership (pretty deep thought eh?). I want to be a better leader. I want to see more better leaders. It’s hard. It requires a lot. Opening up self, and life, and home to others requires much…but as a leader how can I invite others around me if I don’t do so first myself?

Why the Nuclear Family Needs To Die

Does our definition of family need to die? I’ve read two different books recently that both question how we’ve come to define family (Untamed and Unclean). I won’t claim to do either books justice because they’re both amazing and articulate, but I will ruminate publicly a bit with you about the implications of this idea.

In general brand new slimy babies dont’ know the difference between family and not-family. It’s learned. They learn who is safe and who is familiar. Those safe and familiar people are generally called family. Some parents include friends into that safe and familiar group but often times even those friends are given family-type names like “aunt” even if they aren’t. Essentially as our children grow we help them to create a box around those who are “in” (family) and those who are not (everyone else). I don’t think this is a wholly unhealthy distinction, but I think it’s vallid to observe. We are trained from babyhood through adulthood to make these distinctions–to create boundaries.

In America we’ve come to a place where both the church and in a superficial way politics are all about protecting the family. “Family values” has become a term all unto itself, something that supposedly needs to be rediscovered and protected. The breakdown of the family is viewed as a primary reason for the demise of America (America is in demise right?). The church often sees themselves as the primary movers and shakers in restoring the family. Family first! Family family family. Oh, but by family we’re referring to a husband, a wife, 2.1 children, and maybe a dog. We’re referring to the nuclear family–a very exclusive club to break into.

Has family then become a tool of excluding love rather than extending it?

Here’s the thing about Jesus. Jesus doesn’t define family like all of that. Jesus actually invited people into a broader definition of family–one that included those who not only have no blood relation but those who are wholly ‘unlovable’. Jesus even claims that following him will bring division to family units because his invitation is for love to extend beyond those boundaries! Interestingly enough much of the time Jesus experienced exclusion it was due to his radical love of outsiders. So when he says that following him will divide families my hunch is that he was speaking somewhat out of experience!

Alan and Debra Hirsch suggest that

The perfect family, if there is such a thing, is not an idealized nuclear unit of consumption, but an inclusive, warm, inviting environment where people can get a glimpse of true community, and therefore of heaven.

What if we allowed our definition of family to be just a bit larger? What if we allowed it to be a tool of inclusion rather than exclusion? What if we viewed hospitality as a reverential act, one that truly could not only change the world but transform a persons life. While the religious right spends their time trying to protect family values millions of people are suffering due to loneliness and exclusion. Protecting family values, if I understand Jesus, necessitates a posture of love and openness to our neighbor. And, again, if I understand Jesus correctly, our neighbor includes those that we might even be tempted to hate.

Family can become an idol if, and when, we value it over and above Jesus’ invitation to open our lives up to others. Because if our goal is to create boundaries of exclusion we are immediately in danger of viewing true hospitality as a threat rather than as a gift.

World’s Colliding

I want you to meet my family. If you live in Vancouver or Portland I’d love for you to visit Renovatus with us tonight! Renovatus is not only the context that has shaped me and my family over the last seven years but it’s also the community of people who have helped to lead the way in caring for our family over the last ten months. You should know Renovatus. You should visit with us tonight.

Another reason why you should visit is that I want you to hear me share! As an extended part of the Renovatus community I’ve been invited to come and share about Jesus, Grassroots Conspiracy, and my own journey. I’d love for you to come and hear!

Some people spend lots of time trying to keep their circles from colliding. Its important for their worlds to have a bit of space between them. Church friends sit on one side, neighbors on another, your crazy circle of friends sit over here, while you dinner guest friends sit over here…personally, to me, this sounds exhausting! I’ve always loved shaping those awkward moments where my parents meet my neighbors while my coffee friends are sitting on the couch next to my aunt and my old college buddy. I love smashing my circles together into one room…and I’d love for that to happen tonight at 6pm at 814 NE 162nd AVE at Fisher’s Grange hall.

See you there?