I think about blogging way too often. It’s sad really. I actually think about most things within the context of writing a blog. But lately, for some reason, when it comes down to writing a blog I just don’t get to it. I have so many “good” ideas (I think it’s obvious why good is, and should be, in quotation marks) that get left by the wayside.

Rebeca Marie came to Renovatus on Sunday. Sadly, though, I was feeling sick that day and wasn’t in the most talkative mood. And then to make matters worse it was the one time in the year that I had to leave church early to go to work at the restaurant. Pity really.

Here are some updates with Jonesy boy. He’s dressed as a monkey today. It’s not Halloween, but he saw the costume and wanted to dress in nothing else. Kinda funny I thought. Here’s the real news though concerning the boy: He learned to open doors! If you don’t have kids then you might not completely understand the gravity of the situation. Doors are your friend. They’re the last line of defense to open and dangerous rooms. At home it’s not a huge deal because we can just invest $1.59 into some new childproofing thingamajigs. But at the grandparents homes and at your homes the hallways become a lethal place!

Y’all got any cool websites? There are so many cool things on the web. Matt, a friend of mine that many of you know, loves www.relevantmagazine.com. Jonathan, another friend, enjoys messing around on www.bullpoo.com. Arwen’s addicted to anything with odd flash videos. What cool websites do you visit? Hook a brotha up.

Coolest game ever: Bibleopoly!!!
I found it on sale in a christian magazine last week. It’s only 19.99. Thats a steal if you ask me. Here’s what they say about it:

Monopoly’s enjoyable, but the unadulterated greed doesn’t help you practice what
you preach. Now instead of buying hotels, you build churches, draw
“faith/contingency” and “abyss” cards, and even lose a turn by landing on “Go
Meditate”! Eternal fun and challenge for all ages 8 and up.

Bibleopoly is only slightly better than Dance Praise, the sister game to Dance Dance Revolution. Sometimes I can’t help but agree with the world by wondering how Christians can be strange and in their own little world. We seems so dense don’t we? Just a little ridiculous at the least? I love Christ. I love Christians. But when you can go to a “Christians only” store and buy Testamints (a small mint wrapped in a package with a scripture on it) you’ve got to think that this isn’t what Paul, Peter, or even Jesus had in mind for the salt of the earth. If it’s all a joke, if Bibleopoly is all tongue in cheek and such, then I think I like it. Thats a good joke. It’s so ridiculous that it makes me laugh…but if it’s serious…which I think it is…God help us.

No seriously, God, please help us. Teach those of us who claim to follow you as leader, savior, and friend to live lives that reflect the life, hope, peace, and purpose that comes from relationship with you. May the world look at us and see sincere screw ups, messed up people who’ve found the greatest secret in the world and aren’t good at keeping secrets. In years past I’ve been good at making it a surprise party, acting as though what I believed about life, death, and everything in between was something only to be whispered on Sundays to those who were “in” on the surprise. I’m good at keeping secrets.

The problem is not with the church. It’s not with the Testamints and bible bookmarks, though I do detest what those things represent in my mind. No, the problem has always been with me. There is one person I can change…or rather, there is one person that I can submit to the Lord…

me

I’m not the most emotional guy that I know. I don’t even think that I’m number two on that list. I tend to be pretty poor at being sympathetic or empathetic (I can never remember which is which and right now I don’t really care to think about it). But I’ve got one soft mushy spot in my heart…
Dying business’ break my heart. Particularly the small ones that are on the verge of death.

When I walk into Jansen Beach mall I want to cry because of how dead it is. It’s like many churches, it’s dead but no body has told it yet. The only stores that still exist there are a native American art store and a hobby shop (the kind that caters towards the Lord Of The Rings types). It’s dead. Many of the other stores left are literally filled with homemade artifacts that sit on top of card tables with homemade table clothes.

Walking down Main Street in Vancouver I want to cry for two places. Moxies on Main and Renaissance Ice Cream. They’re both owned by first time 20something owners right out of college. They’re so excited about their new business…but it seems as though nobody else is. Renaissance Ice Cream has actually been around for a long time, but the new owner is making some changes. Instead of being open only a few days a week he changed his hours to all day every day. He added espresso to their ice cream place. It’s not working, and I can feel death when I walk by that store. Moxies has the largest glass bottle display in the western United States. You can get bottled Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, and all sorts of nearly extinct old fashion sodas. It’s actually pretty neat. But I fear that it’s not working. Something’s missing at Moxies and when I walk by I can feel death.

It makes me sad. Their dreams and aspirations are crumbling before their very eyes. And the worst part is that it doesn’t happen quickly. No, when a store doesn’t work it dies in a very elongated and painfully slow process. I think thats how they torture people in China (I haven’t verified this yet, but I’ve heard rumors).

Poor, poor dying business owners. Fear not my friends, you gave it a valiant effort and should be applauded for your energy and your heart. Rest In Peace.

(If you haven’t experienced Mr/Mrs Anonymous, please feel free to research Ty’s blog comments. I’ve had some Anonymous comments lately too if you’d like to reference those. No Wikipedia reports have yet been written, so for now you’ll have to do your own research. Just know that there are Mr/Mrs Nice Anonymous and then there are Mr/Mrs Rude Anonymous. Most, not all, of what I’ve written below refer to Mr/Mrs Rude Anonymous.)

Dear Anonymous,

Don’t be scared little guy. Don’t fear us. We’re just like you, except that when we comment we leave our names. I know that it’s scary to say something on the World Wide Web ’cause what if that Bin Laden reads it, or what if Bush and his lackeys start tapping your phones, what if…It’s ok. I understand your fears. I know that you’re worried that if we know who you are then you’ll be held to the words that you comment on our own precious blogs. But fear not because we all say stupid things all the time (usually we do it in the form of a blog rather than a comment though).
I would like to add one more thing Mr/Mrs Anonymous. Please be nice. I know it’s hard, but you see, it’s one thing to argue with somebody face to face, but it’s completely different when you are dishing out argumentative comments anonymously (by ‘face’ I am referring to that virtual identity which we all posses. It includes our bios, our previous comments, our posts, etc). Feel free to share your opinion, but don’t do it anonymously…well, unless even after reading this letter you’re still too scared of us to put your name down…in that case…I think my wife would speak for all of us by saying “Grow a pair”
Ryan Neal Woods

PS Did I mention that I think that I’m in love with you anonymous? Yeah, it’s been growing for a long time but I was trying to hide my feelings (I am married you know). I just can’t do it anymore…wow, I feel better now.

1. He sees all and know all
2. He shows up every Christmas (kind of like Jesus)
3. He likes to give gifts
4. He punishes those who are undeserving (lump o’ coal)
5. He has a big grey beard (like God)
6. He’s got a large heart.
7. He’s jolly, but quite firm
8. He can fly (albeit with reindeer, but lets not split hairs)

Arguments for Molester:

1. He’s an old fat man who is obsessed with children
2. He like kids to sit on his lap all day long while whispering their hearts desires in his ear
3. He sneaks into peoples locked houses at night
4. He sees you when you’re sleeping
5. He watches and knows everything that you do
6. He keeps a detailed list of all that you do
7. His life/factory is run by elves (aka, little boys)
8. He only comes once a year and when he does it’s in the chimney.

Ok, lets pick sides.