“Homer the baseball is ready for the pitch. ‘I hope I don’t get airsick’ he cries as he leaves the pitchers mitt.”
…next page…
“Crack! Homer flies through the air. It’s a hit!”
…next page…
“Whoosh! Homer sails right over the treetops. It’s a homerun!”
…book end.

Today I read that book seventy times seven times (that is a very confusing sentence. I think I’ll leave it).

On a different note.

I wish I could find the letter. I think it might be in the car, but I don’t want to go check. Somebody within the Renovatus community who does not believe wrote a letter that I read before the church explaining why they do not believe that Jesus is the only way to God. It was beautiful. Seriously, it was a very good letter and very compelling. It was one step in the right direction for our community I think. We want to be a place where people who do not believe feel comfortable asking question, making comments, and just being a part of the discussion.
I’ll be honest. I worked very hard on what I had to say this Sunday. If you’ve read my previous posts you’d know that I was sharing why I believed that Jesus was the only way to God. My prayer was that I would not care about getting good reviews or pats on the back or any kind of praise, but would be totally consumed with giving the right message and sharing Jesus’ words and not my own. And I think it worked.
I don’t want to tell you everything I said. I don’t even want to tell you a little bit ’cause I’m not in the mood to type. I do want to say, however, that I am amazed at the uniqueness of the God of the Bible. Seriously. People want to say that all religions are basically the same. That they all are similar except for the setting and the moral code to which you must hold. But I am fully convinced now that the God of the Old and New Testament is inherently different from any other god out there. I’m convinced that the idea of grace, of friendship with God, of relationship, of free will, among other things work together to create a completely unique and utterly true form of spirituality that set it apart from Buddhism, Islam, Shintoism (is someone who practices Shintoism called a Shinty? ‘Cause I think that would be funny), and all others. I believe that the Bible’s creates a system that is contradictory to the ideas of legalism and fatalism which then sets it apart from all other religions (even many misguided doctrines writting differing forms of Christianity).
Thats all I want to type for now.

This just rocked my world. On Microsofts website you can download the beta version of Office 2007 for free…well, almost for free. I had to pay 1.50 for all of office pro. I now get to use it through February of next year. Pretty good I think. And let me tell you, office 2007 rocks my world right off its rocker. No I’m serious, they’ve changed things up quite a bit and it looks good.

I don’t want to nerd it up too much. So I’d like to leave you with this:

I have this friend who we’ll call Jeff. I used to call him creepy. It wasn’t because it was creepy, but because it sounded funny when I’d say “hey creepy” kind of like Jim Carrey might say in Liar Liar. Well, Creepy lived across the street from the church where I attended and where my dad was the minister. So I was near his home often, but not all the time. When I was near I would sneak into his house and change his answering machine. It was beautiful. One day he’d be sitting there when the phone would ring and he’d be too lazy to answer. All of a sudden there would be my screechy voice saying “hey it’s me creepy and I’m not here. I might be gay or I might be going poo poo or pee pee but if you leave a message I’ll call you back” or something of that nature. It’s so funny to me still that it breaks my heart…and no, I wasn’t four years old. I was actually in high school, thank you very much.

On another semi funny note (I’m only trying to please myself here): when I was post highschool age and living in Lubbock, Texas I went through this stage where I would pee into bottles. I know, I know, I sound like that guy from as good as it gets or something like that. But it was all in good fun. We would pee into bottles and then put them in peoples freezers or under their pillows or something. Obviously we would always wash off the outside so that we wouldn’t get people sick. We pee into bottles but we aren’t animals. It got to the point though where we were keeping a three liter bottle (yes, Texans are so full of gluttony that two litters just isn’t enough) under our bathroom sink to pee in. At one point we realized that we weren’t even doing anything funny with it anymore. We were just peeing into a bottle and then throwing it away when it got too close to filling. I will refrain from speaking into any detail about what happens to urine when it has sat in a bottle for too long, but lets just say that it separates into two very distinct and disgusting mixtures, one of which is about as thick as curdled milk from what I could tell…both of which look to be very unhealthy. The only moral of the story I can extrapolate from my experience is that peeing in bottles is only funny for the pee-er and not for the peepee-receive.

If I have now alienated all fifteen of my readers…it’s worth it. Good bye my friends and loved ones.

Here she is: The Plague Video

Also feel free to take a look around the almost ready for the public Renovatus website. It’s not quite up and public yet, but if you want to click around feel free to do so. www.renovatus.com exists, but it is still an old school out of date site that will be replaced within a week.

You’re welcome Arwen.

Ryan

Feel free to post anonymously. Feel free to write a lot. Feel free to write a little. Just be honest. Brutaly honest.
Do you believe that Jesus is the only way to God? Why?
There has been a shortage in commenting recently, so I’m not going to post again until I get some responses ’cause I’m really interested in your answers.

ryan

I’ve been crunching some numbers today and I’ve come to some amazing realizations. I think that the homeless community will be blessed by my research.

Today I stumbled across a nickel. I thought to myself, “Huh self, a nickel. Cool”. But later I thought to myself, “Self, it’s no big deal to find a nickel on the ground. In fact, I bet if you were actually searching for nickels one might find even more than one in a day.” And thats when I figured that one nickel a day for one year is over $18!!! If a homeless person saved that nickel every day for a year they would have 18 bucks! Hot diggity, they could buy some smokes, or a few bus tickets. If they did this for multiple years, lets say 55, they would have over $1000 and would be able to afford an apartment for a few months. They would then be out of the rain, off the streets, and would have free cable hook up. Who knows, maybe there would even be a swimming pool involved.

Hurry, someone publish this crap. Lets spread the word and bless those homeless peeps up on outa here.

And that is my Hobo Agenda.