This is a quick snapshot of our weekly Arnada Community Meal that we host here at the Arnada House. It’s something that we’ve done here at the house nearly every week for about a year and a half. Pardon my shaky hands in this video…it can’t really be helped. And pardon my high pitched voice…turns out this is what I always sound like and nobody’s every really told me. And finally, pardon my apologies…people who apologize too much can be tedious to be around. Sorry.
Sometimes terrible things happen and there’s absolutely no reason why. Sometimes there are reasons. And sometimes it just doesn’t matter. I don’t know much about this story, I’ve been watching from a distance and am unfamiliar with many of the details, and…well, I’m not sure it matters. Our local newspaper, The Columbian, writes about it here: http://su.pr/2vC1z5 and here http://su.pr/1tzvIe.
Essentially my friends had a shooting happen not only in their neighborhood but in their front yard. What was so amazing, what was so beautiful was that my friend is a firefighter. So as the person to call the police and as the first person to make it to victim who had been shot six times he was fully prepared to care for this boy in ways that you or I would not have been. Even further, however, my friends family (including his wife and boys) are people who have spent the last many years learning to respond with love, grace, and compassion to anyone and everyone who comes their way. So not only was he equipped to deal with the physical stuff (and it looks like the young man is going to survive!) but their family has been an overwhelmingly amazing ‘first responder’ to the family and neighborhood’s needs as well. From coordinating meals for the victim’s family for a month to now coordinating a neighborhood-wide effort to honor the family through inviting a communal voice of hope with chalk (I’ll explain in a moment) they are finding ways to be responders with hope.
Once again, The Columbian writes about it here: http://su.pr/2KOtPB
So here is what I’m getting to. If you live in Vancouver or Portland, I want to invite you on August 21st from 10:00-1:00 to join the Hough neighborhood to “Chalk the Walk“. Chalking the walk is a Vancouver tradition (and a very cool one at that) but this year at 1114 W 21st, Vancouver, WA 98660 it’s going to be a tradition marked with a deeper message when neighbors and friends counter the senseless violence that happened with messages of hope, life, and togetherness. Want to join?
Here’s the thing. I’m tempted to end this blog by saying something like “It’s not about Nate and Jasmine and how they’ve responded. It’s bigger than them. It’s about the neighborhood, it’s about you, its about…” but you know what? You know what the reality is? The reality is that we have so much to learn from this family, from Nate, Jas, and their boys (yes, their boys seem to always be a integral part in leading the charge as well!). If it were not for their posture of responsiveness to their neighbors none of us would be entered into this story. If it were not for their families core of love, grace, and compassion none of us would be invited to be ‘second responders’, if it were not for them this story would look very differently. So, you know what?, while this blog would probably feel better if I expanded it here at the end to include all of us as the ‘moral of the story participants’ the reality is that we’ve got to be learners here! We’ve got to learn from the Cook fam’ how to be first responders with a little dash of hope.
While we cannot (and should not…and I WILL NOT) try to pretend like any form of response at this point will dull the pain and terribleness of the situation–our hope, as always, is that God can transform shit into something beautiful. That’s what he does when we allow him to enter into our story. He doesn’t always get rid of the messiness (oh how I wish he would) but he is willing to enter into our narrative and do something magically beautiful. None of us know where or how this story is going to end, but because of this families willingness to enter into the fray we all are being invited to bring a candle of light into the bleak narrative in hopes that light might one day shine through it.
So will you join with us on August 21st from 10-1 at 1114 W 21st, Vancouver, WA 98660 as a second responder of hope?
Boooorrrrrriiiinnnngggg (is that how you spell it?)! It is so so boring. Incredibly boring. At the very least it’s plain ol’ boring. It is. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Yet we churchy people think it’s cool (we do). There are books upon books (many of which I own and continue to purchase) written about it, there are whole conferences dedicated to it (of which I wish to attend), there are whole movements predicated on it (Grassroots Conspiracy anyone?), and yet it’s the most ordinary thing in the world. Some might say it is even a bit boring.
Christians call it missional living. Other people probably call it something more along the lines of being a nice person. I call it ordinary. (ok, I called it boring, but that was more just for sensationalism…feeling sensational anyone?)
Let me explain my thoughts a bit.
The idea of living missionally is very exciting to most Christians because it invites us into a way of life, a way of doing church, a way of following Jesus that’s not weird or creepy feeling. Evangelism, as we’ve understood it for many years, has felt weird and a bit creepy. At the very least it’s felt coercive–and most of us don’t want to be salespeople (even for something that we believe very strongly in). Living missionally, as I think it is understood, is all about the Great Commission’s phrase “…go and make disciples” which more rightly is translated “…as you are going make disciples…” or in other words: go about your business and live in such a way so that people see Jesus, fall in love with him, and see reason to dedicate their existence to his love movement (there’s some interpretation happening here obviously). That’s my off the cuff definition of missional living–and I think it’ll work well for us here. As a way of life I think most of us would agree that it sounds quite appealing. As a matter of fact it is essentially the underpinning idea that the Grassroots Conspiracy movement is built on. We dig that way of life and think that a movement founded on it in radical ways just might be an exciting experiment to create. And so we have. (or we are in the process of it…creating it, that is.)
Here’s the interesting thing: lots of Christians from outside our circle are intrigued by what we’re doing at Grassroots. They want to be a part in some way, they want to send their youth group to do a mission trip with us, they want to partner with us in ways that will get their church people excited and living on mission, they want to be involved!
But (isn’t there always a but?) the Grassroots movement is really pretty boring. Right? Isn’t it? And so is living missionally. Right? Do you realize what it means to live missionally? I mean, seriously, in reality have you caught the implications of what missional living demands from you? Practically speaking think about what it would look like for someone from outside your world to come and participate in your “missional living”!*
Missional living demands that you listen to people (and actually remember what they said to you!), it demands that you show hospitality, that you’re willing to receive hospitality, that you slow your life down enough to borrow a cup of sugar from a neighbor, that you go to the same restaurants repeatedly so you can get to know people, it means you sit on your front porch and drink coffee, it means you’re home more nights than you’re gone (how else will you be available to neighbors?), it means that you take your dog for walks, it means that you attend people’s parties, essentially it means that you live a life of availability to others. IF you ever get to do something seemingly spectacular: organize a food drive, throw a block party, volunteer at a soup kitchen, etc. it is usually BECAUSE of your willingness to listen people around you into free speech. And THROUGH your listening you and your friend discover needs that should to be responded to. It is that posture of responsiveness that gives missional living it’s more exciting bent at times, but it usually follows the boring process of availability. Right?
Did you notice how boring all of that is? If you send your youth group to work with us do you realize what they’d be doing? They’d be doing my dishes (you’ve got to do something as you’re slowing your life down, being a good parent/spouse, and being available to neighbors), or they’d be sipping coffee with me at Mon Ami (’cause that’s where me, my friends, and my neighbors hang out!), or they’d be walking my dog down the street around the same time every day. Here’s the trick: it is in the ordinary things of life that God does the extraordinary. God thrives in ordinary, I mean come on(!) the guy was born in a feeding trough and raised by a poor teenage mom! Talk about extraordinary things emerging from the ordinary! Jesus was a carpenter…shoot, even the idea that Jesus had a nine to five is incredibly ordinary! And yet JC was anything but ordinary.
Extraordinary emerging from the ordinary–that’s what missional living is all about–the spectacular emerging from the routine of every day life. If I defined missional living as: going about your business and living in such a way so that people see Jesus, fall in love with him, and see reason to dedicate their existence to his love movement. Then a working description of what it looks like would be just that: the spectacular emerging from the routine of everyday life.
And by “spectacular” or “extraordinary” what I am referring to are those simple and beautiful stories of people falling in love with Jesus and the Jesus way. They are stories of the “gospel” that Christians speak of actually becoming good news to those around them. ‘Cause if it’s not news that is tangibly good then what is it?
So get ready to be bored. Do what you’ve got to do to slow down a bit, be available, listen, show hospitality, be a recipient of other’s hospitality, respond, dialog, remember, be a learner, be a lover, show compassion–read the stories of Jesus and be fascinated by the Jesus way. Study him and allow his radically (often times ordinary) existence to inform your ordinary (hopefully becoming more radical) existence. At Grassroots Conspiracy we are a developing collection of partners who are committing to a way of life together that is marked by the Jesus way. In virtually every aspect we are ordinary boring people but we are attempting to live out an existence that is marked by the simply radical ways of Jesus. What happens after or around that is beyond us, it’s beyond me. But I do know that there is something tangibly beautiful about a collection of people who are wholly sold out to practicing the ways of Jesus together. Many people call it the church. We’re calling it a movement (though we anticipate a church one day emerging). My friends probably call it being nice. I’ve been accused of calling it boring (or did I say boooooorrrrriiiinnnnggg?). Call it what you want, but give it a chance and I bet it’ll blow your mind.
* I hesitate to even talk about it like this because it begins to make it weird. I fear that it makes my friends feel weird when I talk about it like this. Am I loving them because I’m simply trying to “live missionally”? When I have them over for dinner am I just trying to “missionalize them” (yes, I made that word up)? The reality is that it gets weird anytime you talk openly about things, about motivations, etc. So, yes, this is a bit awkward. But please know (friends) that what this means is that I’m just trying to follow the ways of Jesus through the (sadly) radical practices of hospitality, listening, responsiveness, compassion, etc. I put words like “missional” to it so that we can have communication and invite others into this way of life. Sorry that it makes it weird. Just know that I’m the weird one…you’re not.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, one of the most difficult things in this whole cancer journey has been learning to be a recipient of people’s generosity. It’s just hard to feel like a sucker–like someone who is just sucking the life of those around you. It’s hard to be humble enough to willingly receive a gift with a simple “thank you”. Very very difficult.
And yet it’s a beautiful journey to be invited into. It’s a journey that I think all of us need to be invited into from different avenues. What I mean is that some of us do not find the challenge in being a grateful recipient because we’ve been in that role for most of our lives and therefore play it well. Some of us need to learn a posture of thankfulness ’cause we’ve gotten used to the receiving. Others need to learn the posture of thankfully receiving because we’ve taken a posture of authority our whole lives. We’ve often even mistakenly placed ourselves as the rider on the white horse who comes to rescue those three feet below us. Some of us are just prideful. Some of us are just lazy. Some of us are both. And I’m sure there’s one or two of you who are neither.
This week, as we’ve been movin’ rooms around, we had many people offer to help. It was wonderfully overwhelming. In the end it was easier to have just one or two people come to do the work, but it was yet another example of our greater community stepping up in a time of need. Thank you.
The tension that it creates, however, is that there is a line. There is a very blurry and often wandering line that Jess and I are always trying to be aware of. The line has very little to do with you and very much to do with our own emotional and mental health. Because there are times that we might need help but we just don’t want it. We don’t want to always feel like we MUST have helped to survive. We don’t always want to feel like our home is overrun with people (a stark change from how we felt before I was sick to be perfectly honest). We don’t always want help…even when we may need it. Sometimes we just want to be a family. Sometimes we want to pretend like we’re normal, like our life isn’t overrun by the cancer narrative. Sometimes we just don’t want to receive.
And the reality, I think, is that those impulses are not bad. They’re not off. They’re not ‘wrong’ (though I hesitate to use that sticky word). It’s a valuable tension to hold, one that, again, is blurry in its definition but important in its usage. It’s very very important that we, at times, create those boundaries and allow both openness to receiving and protection from it to be a part of our story.
So to Blur the Lines a Bit…
I’m asking for a bit of help here. One of the things that has been hugely helpful has been the occasional meals that people have dropped by for our family. They’ve been a non-intrusive way for people to care for us, it provides a huge relief for us amidst the stress of life, and amidst the time crunch of doctors visits that run up until 5pm often days. Here’s what our friend Sherilee, who is graciously managing all of this, briefly said:
For those of you that know and love Ryan and Jessica Woods…here is a organized way to sign up to bring food. To give them time together and not worry about what to make for supper – a small gift that means so much.
She says “supper” because she’s Canadian–and we forgive her for that–but it is a small way that you can bless our family from near or far away (they’ve suggested that you can order food to have it delivered or creative things of that nature). It’s all online so it’s amazingly easier than ever before! Thank you so much for your participation in caring for our family during this really strange and surprising time of sickness. I hope and pray that one day we look back on this time and see how it was shaping us for a future life together. But if the story is different–if the story continues on the same path that it’s gone thus far then we are especially grateful for every moment that you help to create for us to be together as a family and for me to pursue a path of health as much as is humanly possible in this life.
peace.
(lets try this again. I just posted this video blog and it was…well it was kind of blank…my apologies)
Well my leg just ain’t working very well anymore so we’ve decided that it’s finally time to move my bedroom downstairs. So all you kids that have enjoyed that playroom…sorry! It’s not a full move (yet) because the thought of mom and dad sleeping downstairs away from the kids is pretty terrifying for India and Jones. So for now the hope is that I will only have to go up those stairs once a night to tuck my kids in and go to bed myself. Eventually the hope will be to fully move to the main floor, but for now it’ll come in transitions.
We are also giving each of the kids their own “special” rooms as they have been sharing for their entire lives.
Lots of change
And Falcor. (that’s why you’ve got to watch the video blog)
Enjoy