Imagination Stories

Jones likes to tell stories. He learned it from his papa, and when you make them up yourself they’re called “imagination stories”. Jones likes to tell imagination stories that contain about 17 chapters (that’ comes straight from him) and the basic format goes like this…

  • Once upon a time…
  • There was a little (add in some animal here)
  • And he liked to eat (add in something edible here, or something that is so incredibly not edible that it becomes comical)
  • And every time he eats (previously mentioned food) he sings this song…
  • (Jones now proceeds to make up a song about the food)
  • (this happens multiple times until…) that little (animal) becomes the biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest, biggest (this goes as long as he can stand) animal!
  • And now he’s a mean (fill in the blank)!
  • And he goes around killing all the nice (fill in the blank) and he eats them and throws them up and then eats the puke and he sings…
  • “Meanwhile…” (he always says meanwhile, and he uses it quite appropriately!)
  • There was another nice (fill in the blank)
  • (here he begins to tell a different story that eventually ends with a “to be continued”)

He tells, maybe, the best stories I’ve ever heard.

Oh, and today while I was pretending to be a doctor checking out jones’ broken eyeballs he asked me if I would check out his rectum because he thought it was broken. I proceeded to tell him that only doctors should check out rectums. Needless to say he was disappointed. But he wasn’t too broken up about it because a little bit later when doctor Jones was checking out my broken legs he asked me if I was able to put both my knees on my chest (I was laying down at this point). It wasn’t until I was laying on my back with my knees on my chest that I realized I’d been duped into a near rectal exam!

Never Give Up

Ok, I’m not giving up on my last posts attempt at comment superi0rity, but I’ve got to share this video.

I know, I know, it’s Southpark, and I’m a church planter. Southpark is evil, they say bad words, etc. But there are times when Southpark so perfectly mocks everything happeneing in our culture that it brings me great joy.

You’ve got to watch this episode. Yes, they mock Christianity, but the way in which they weave all the mockery is simply amazing.
Part 1 (go to southparkstudios.com to watch the rest)

Limb Stepping

This is scary but I’m doing it anyway. If you’ll notice I’ve got a new widget on the side of my blog that lists my most commented on blog posts in history. You’ll then notice that the top one has 107 comments. Back then there were more people I knew blogging. Back then there were more people commenting. These days comments are few and far between.

What’s that? What’s that I hear? Is that a challenge?

You’re on. You’re on like applesauce.

Lets see if we can break the odds, lets see if we can break 107. Is that possible? I realize I’m asking a lot. But the challenge has been made. I realize I’m asking us all to sacrifice. So lets make it easy, here are some suggestions, some ways that I think we can make it happen and also a few rules:

  • Just give a shout out- Tell me you’re there if you’ve never commented before
  • One idea is to follow suit of a status update from facebook and start a story by writing one line that the next commenter then adds to
  • Don’t comment 107 times in a row please, that would cheapen it a little bit
  • Share the love and invite a friend or two to help me reach this goal
  • Say whatever you want and just have fun with it…I know I will.

Oh, and one last thing…if I don’t get my comments I will be humiliated in front of all my friends.

Levitical Musings

I’ve had about ten blogs running through my head all day and now that I’m sitting here at the computer this is all I can think about…

I read this scripture from the New Living Translation this morning and found it intriguing.

“No one who has a defet may come near to me, whether he is blind or lame, stunted or deformed, or has a broken foot or hand, or has a humped back or is a dwarf, or has a defective eye, or has oozing sores or scabs on his skin, or has damaged testicles.” Leviticus 21:18-20

How does that contrast with Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke (teaching) up on you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.”

Something has changed right? Either God has changed, we’ve changed, or the way we’re able to relate with God has changed. I’ve got my guess. Do you have yours?