The Mean Lady

It was early and wet but we were all excited as about eighty of us waited at the Max (public transit) station to head into downtown Portland for the Shamrock Run. Many people were wearing gaudy green costumes, green body paint, and goofy hats and jewelry. Most of us were from Vancouver and had to purchase a ticket to ride the train, the problem though was that the ticket machine is known for taking an extremely long time to purchase and print tickets! So of the 80-100 of us that were waiting for the Max most of us were in a long line that wasn’t moving.

Maybe it was the costumes or maybe it was the anticipation of a fun day with my wife and kids but I figured that the best way to get everyone on board the train would be for those at the ticket machine to just buy tickets for those behind them. Obviously it would be strange for me to approach a stranger and suggest that they buy another person’s ticket so instead I figured I’d walk up to the front of the line and ask if I could just purchase 30 tickets and we could hand them down the line. I thought it was a good idea, I felt kind of good about myself, and practically it was quite a useful thing…but here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Hi, this might be weird but if you let me buy your ticket I’d love to get us all out of line and just buy 20 or 30 tickets to pass down the line.

Her: Excuse me? You’re going to have to wait in line with the rest of us buddy!

Me: Oh, no I’m not trying to cut in line. I’ll stay in my place in the back and won’t even take one of the 20 tickets. It’ll just get us all through the line faster and we can then jump on the train when it gets here.

Her: You are not buying my ticket and you should get back in line where you were.

The Guy in line behind her: Hey man don’t worry about it. On a day like today when the Max gets here we’ll just all jump on.

I’m not quite sure what the moral of the story is. I’ve got a couple of ideas.

  1. We American’s generally fall into two categories. We either live off of and crave charity or we refuse to receive any gifts because we’re not a “person in need” It’s either pride or poverty.
  2. We also tend to find greater joy in the act of giving than in a person receiving. The fun and joy and blessing for the giver is often still centered in his/her own selfish feelings rather than in the blessing that the recipient gets.

I'm done brushing my teeth

The dentist keeps calling me. I think it has something to do with the fact that I haven’t had a cleaning in eight years. It also might have to do with the fact that I missed my last appointment. Either way it’s caused me to get awkwardly introspective and thoughtful concerning the entire idea of visiting the dentist.

I’ve got no evidence (and wikipedia in fact would disagree with me) to back any of this up but I’m pretty sure that dental hygiene is a modern innovation (except for England where it hasn’t quite made it). The ancient Roman’s didn’t have toothbrushes did they? Did they wear braces? Get their teeth sealed? Whitened? Bridges, caps, fillings? Had toothpaste been invented? Did they scrub their teeth with horse hair brushes?

I’m done brushing. I’m going to stop eating sugar and start eating only beans and rice. I’m going to stop brushing my teeth and I’m not calling that dentist back because they represent everything that’s wrong with America.*

In other news I’d like to apologize for this post.

 

 

*I can’t back this statement up either but I think common sense would validate this as accurate. If not common sense than women’s intuition.

Faceless People

I’m sitting in a café walled on one side by windows from floor to celling. Surprisingly I’m having a hard time seeing my computer screen because of the streams of sunlight coming through the windows. It feels good for the left side of my body to be hot from direct sunlight.

Strangely enough as people walk down the street next to me I cannot see any of their faces. The bar that runs the length of the wall of windows just happens to block my view of the face of every single person that walks by. So I stare out the windows at a faceless people. I was struck by the fact that as far as I was concerned these people had no identity without a face. Bodies without faces are nobodies. Had my wife changed her clothes she could have walked by and I would not notice. The mayor could have just passed and I’d never know the difference…all because I can’t see their face.

The Internet is a dangerous place for dialog because we cannot see people’s faces. Yes, maybe we have an icon that represents that person, but the person we’re actually in dialog with is a figment of our imagination. They are fictitious in every way as much as The Social Network’s take on Mark Zuckerberg is fictitious.

In life and online we prefer to deal with icons. Rather than making space to listen to you, to allow you to inform me about yourself I have preconceived ideas of who you are and what you’re about. An icon. We prefer to deal with representations of people than real people. Real people are complex while icons are simple.

My hope is to find enough peace and courage within myself to allow you to be a person in the fullest sense of the word. Yes I’ll still have my preconceived ideas about you, but am I willing to lay those down and allow relationship to reveal your face? For the love of Facebook I hope so.

Is he dead?

I refuse to do research to confirm or deny the following allegations. But I’m pretty sure the following famous people have passed away:

  • James Earl Jones–He was seventy-five in Field of Dreams.
  • Willie Nelson–Either he has passed or his hair has…or, it might be that they’re actually the same thing.
  • Ringo Star–Someone tried to convince me with actual evidence that Ringo is still alive. I obviously did not believe them.
  • Dustin Diamond– This is a foregone conclusion. How long can one live without the love of his life?
  • John Matuszak— The only way this guy’s career wouldn’t take off after his star performance in Goonies is if he passed away shortly thereafter.

As for me and my house, we will vote for Basil

This is simply amazing. If it is a joke…its the best I’ve ever seen. If it’s not a joke (and it isn’t) it’s the best I’ve ever seen.

Check Basil’s website out, notice some of the following quotes (I have left spelling and grammar as the author wrote it):

Make sure that if national insurance is put in place, I will make sure the roots of such bill with not inclued any type measuring of the waist like other counties.

Vote for me and if I win I will immune you from all state crimes for the rest of you life!

I believe we must hate the U.S. Flag because we fly the wrong one and when we fly the right one we and the government fly it wrong.

The right too bear arms against our government and not burglars must be protected

I find it hard to take a campaign fund from anyone because if they give me money they expect something and then they seal it with a hand shack . I think this is bribery
so to keep everybody honest lets put all funds in one bucket, then divide the bucket by cities, counties and state ,then divide those buckets among who ever once want to run and nobody owes anybody.

People Called to stop Slavery at traffic stop they all say county court can not overrule supreme court ,but no-one will help while 1.8 billion is stole by false arrest

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