Jess and I spent an amazing couple of days in Orlando, Florida at the annual Exponential Conference. To be perfectly honest, Jess and I don’t belong very well in many circles. We kind of fit in the church planting community (in other words we start new churches) but the manner in which we’re going about things does not lend itself to a complete match. We kind of fit in the non-profit neighborhood development world but the spiritual bent that we bring to it does not lend itself to a complete match. We’re a part of the Christian community but we don’t go to church. Jess fits the urban hippie community but the reality is that we’re recovering homeschoolers. We can’t be a part of the homeschooler community for oh so many reasons that I won’t go into here. We just don’t fit in any box very well and it can be down right frustrating. BUT…BUT…going to this conference every other year always brings blessing. It’s a good scene, filled with good people and good books (what more do I need?) This year, especially, the content was inspiring. Instead of talking about how to start new churches (which is a good thing to talk about) they instead focused on how to be the right kind of person who is able to start new churches. In other words, the focus was on the being more than on the doing. And I like that. It’s less about being a rockstar pastor and more about being Jesus-filed lover of people, a good husband, and a loving dad.

Well, within that vein they asked me to briefly share a word from my story to start off the conference. I asked my mom to record it (Oops! Bad idea to ask the woman who birthed you to record a video with a steady hand while her son talks about his death! Cruel cruel request)

I’m hesitant to post this video for a few reasons:

• It reminds me of the 50lbs I’ve gained over the last 9 months
• It annoys me to see my wife just sitting there as a gorgeous prop when I know she’s got tons to say…more to say than what came out of my mouth and probably more articulately.
• It reminds me of the fact that when I got up there I completely forgot everything I wanted to say…and I hate that.
• It reminds me that I actually got nervous…I rarely get nervous! I hate getting nervous!

Here’s why I am posting it:

At the end there are five thousand people raising their hands in solidarity with my family praying for my healing. The amazing thing is that each of those pairs of hands represents a different faith community from all over the United States. IF God does not choose to bring healing it ain’t gonna be because we didn’t bug the hell out of him! That’s for sure! It gives me great confidence that if I die I can rest assured that it was not without a fight–both on the spiritual level, the medical level, relationally, medically, metaphysically, emotionally…and whatever other -ally is available.

Thank you Exponential folk for letting me play this small part. Thank you for supporting my wife and I. Thank you for everything! I hope that whatever happened to bumble out of my mouth was both beneficial and generative as we all committed together to be honest about our sifting and how it is shaping both us, our families, our churches, and the faith communities that do not yet exist.

peace.